Today's Parent | Parenting Resources… Articles, Advice, Help & Tips

It’s fun for parents to surprise children with new small pets, like guinea pigs and hamsters. Plus, these small animals are a great first pet for kids and can teach children responsibility. But before adding to the family, it’s important to make sure you are bringing home the right pet for your family.

“Small pets are great, playful new pals. And the best way for families to choose a pet and make them part of your home is to consider how the pet is going to fit into your lives,” says Dr. Kemba Marshall, veterinarian and pet care expert at PetSmart. “Families should first learn about each pet’s unique characteristics to prepare for a change in their daily habits and responsibilities in caring for their new pet.”

Online resources, including PetSmart’s Small Pet Center, have tips on how to choose a small pet, whether it’s a chinchilla, gerbil or hamster, based on children’s ages, pet-care experience and daily time requirements for care.

Take some time to learn how to best care for your small pet before you bring it home. Make sure you:

Choose the right habitat: Small pet habitats have varying requirements, and there are must-have supplies and accessories to keep your pet happy and healthy. For example, guinea pigs are easy to tame, affectionate and expressive, and need plenty of floor space to play. Hamsters, which are known for being playful and active, need a multilevel habitat large enough to include an exercise wheel and tunnels.

Nominate your pet’s care takers: Match your child’s maturity to the pet they will care for. For instance, gerbils are great beginner pets because they are gentle, social and enjoy the companionship of another gerbil. Or, your child may prefer a chinchilla as they have perky personalities and will bond with their pet parent through regular, gentle handling.

Understand the pet’s habits: Some small pets are nocturnal and are most likely to be active at night – which means you might not get as much daytime play time as you like. Ask about special care needs for your small pet, too. Chinchillas, which are known for their especially soft fur, need dust baths to clean themselves, and Syrian hamsters require grooming products like brushes and wipes help them look and smell good.

Provide proper nutrition: Each animal has its own nutritional needs. Guinea pigs and chinchillas are herbivores so they need diets that include at least 75 percent high-fiber hay. Guinea pigs also need vitamin C supplements. Many rodents’ teeth never stop growing, so providing wood chews or edible houses offers not only a yummy surprise but also helps keep teeth trimmed.

Talk to experts: Take a family trip to a store such as PetSmart, where associates can help with pet selection and walk you through the basics of habitat cleaning, feeding schedules and how to properly and safely handle small pets. Each store’s book section also carries pet health manuals and pet-specific handbooks.

For additional information on choosing and caring for small pets, visit www.petsmart.com.

Source: PetSmart

“No, my child would never do that.” Would this be your response if your child were accused of being a cyberbully? If so, you’re not alone. For one thing, no parent wants to believe that his or her child is capable of teasing or harassing other youngsters. For another, cyberbullying is, by its very nature, a relatively easy behavior for youngsters to keep under wraps: With the click of a mouse or the swipe of a finger, the evidence disappears. And most concerning of all, it’s easy for kids to get caught up in this destructive behavior without initially realizing how dangerous and hurtful it is.

Like it or not, the rapidly expanding digital landscape has allowed bullying to spread beyond playgrounds and school hallways to computer screens, smartphones, and more. Since this is a pressing issue that can affect any family, it’s crucial for parents to be able to recognize the signs that their children may be cyberbullies, and to know how to handle and prevent this behavior.

Specifically, tweens and teens (and in some instances, even younger kids) who are engaged in cyberbullying often exhibit behavior changes, just as victims do. Watch for the following signs:

• Your child may stop using the computer when you come into the room or quickly change screens or tabs.
• Your child may sharply increase time spent on the computer or on a smartphone.
• Your child may appear stressed or secretive when using these devices, and may become anxious, upset, or excessively angry when you limit or take away access.
• Your child may be spending more time with a new group of friends, or might no longer interact publicly with a long-time friend.

Regardless of whether your child’s behavior fits into any of these categories, it’s a good idea to proactively bring up the topic of cyberbullying. Make sure your kids know what cyberbullying is, why it’s harmful, and what your expectations are for their online conduct. By keeping an ongoing dialog going, you’ll not only gain insight into the digital world in which your kids live, but you may also discover warning signs that your child’s online group is participating in these types of activities.

Specifically, discuss the following topics with your children:

• Joking vs. harassment. The line between harmless joking and mean, harassing behaviors can often be a fine one, and younger children especially may have trouble recognizing when they’ve crossed it. Explain to your kids that any online behavior that makes another person feel upset, threatened, hurt, mocked, etc. can be considered bullying. If your child knows that one of his peers is uncomfortable with a specific online interaction—or if a particular online behavior would make your child feel upset if the shoe were on the other foot—it’s best not to participate.
• Appropriate online communication. While it may seem obvious to many adults, kids frequently don’t understand that what they write or share in a digital format can often be forwarded, saved, or accessed by others. On a continuous basis, talk to your kids about what is appropriate to share online and what is not. Put a special emphasis on why it’s important to keep friends’ secrets and personal communications private and where it is and isn’t safe to discuss these things. Read More

While many adults recall childhood summers of sunburned faces, grass-stained jeans and dirty fingernails, kids today have become so immersed in electronic media that a fishing pole is now a Wii controller, Dora is the only one exploring, and digging in the dirt – well, there’s an app. for that.

Sometimes the simplest things you do at home can be the spark that ignites a child’s lifelong passion and appreciation for nature. Below are some activities you can do with your children to help connect them with nature:

1. Put up a Hummingbird Feeder – Setting up a hummingbird feeder near your home gives an up-close-and-personal view of this amazing bird.

2. Bird Watching / I Spy a Bird – Watch for birds wherever you go for a week, and make a list of all the birds you saw and where you saw them (field, forest, marsh, yard, or park).

3. Listen & Observe Nature – By cupping their hands behind their ears for better hearing, guide your child to identify sounds made by insects, birds or mammals. Help them learn to identify birds they see and hear in their yard.

4. Help Birds to Build their Nests – Lend a helping hand to the birds by supplying them with simple nesting materials. Put out some wet mud, moss, small twigs, straw, short lengths of string or knitting yarn and see which birds use the different materials for their nest.

5. Make an Observation Blind for Observing Backyard Wildlife – Because getting close to birds can be a challenge, drop a sheet with some cut out observation holes around some lawn chairs or over a cardboard box and let your children get a sneak peek as they approach your bird feeder or bird bath.

John Schaust, Chief Naturalist at Wild Birds Unlimited, Inc.

You can also enroll children in a nature camp. In fact, Wild Birds Unlimited, the original and largest franchise system of backyard bird feeding and nature specialty stores, and the National Audubon Society, one of the nation’s leading conservation organizations, are teaming up to offer scholarships for children to attend a week of summer camp. Wild Birds Unlimited and Audubon share a belief that when children spend quality time outside, it can have a lasting, positive impact on their personal lives and the future of our great natural heritage.

Scholarship eligibility is determined by each Audubon Center. For more information about general registration, camp programs and scholarships, visit the Audubon website (http://education.audubon.org/programs/audubon-camps).

In a recent interview marking the anniversary of a school shooting that killed two students and wounded 13, the then-teenaged gunman shares the warning signs he displayed before his tragic meltdown.

“My dad noticed my grades slipping … I would come home with bruises and lie to him,” says Charles “Andy” Williams, now 27, in the Oprah Winfrey Network interview.

“I didn’t know how to communicate that somethin’ really, really bad was goin’ on. I didn’t know how to talk about it.”

Take Andy’s story and multiply it by hundreds of thousands of students across the country. Among them are the next Adam Lanza, James Holmes, or Andy Williams – people who have become so emotionally disturbed, they turn to killing strangers.

It’s the quiet kids who slip through the cracks and don’t get the help they need.

One high school for which I gathered data found that 750 of its 2,500 students reported having a substance abuse issue. But, in the year I studied, only 10 students were referred for substance abuse intervention, and just five of them connected with a program. Three completed it.

The loud and disruptive kids who are having problems get the attention they need; the quiet ones don’t. If we can identify them – and we can! — and intervene, we can help prevent future violence and suicides.

Schools can take some simple but effective steps right now to begin identifying troubled students.

1. Make it everybody’s job. From the lunch lady to the custodian to the bus driver to the teacher, many adults notice small signs, like Andy Williams’ declining grades and his bruises. If everyone reported the small signs they saw, the cumulative effect could be one big indicator of a problem. “The cafeteria worker may notice he’s not eating. The custodian may see him being bullied. One sign here or there gets overlooked, but if everyone knows that, if they see something that concerns them, they document it, then we’ll be able to connect those dots and make sure more kids get the help they need. School leadership should make it everyone’s job to report.

2. Provide a safe way to report. Some people say nothing because they’re afraid they’ll be expected to make a decision about what the behavior means or they’ll have to do something about it. Some fear reporting will make them legally accountable. Everyone involved with students needs to understand they are expected only to report what they see — changes in behavior, incidents that may cause emotional distress. A single, isolated incident will not necessarily result in action being taken. Schools also need to embed an infrastructure through which concerns can be documented securely as soon as an incident takes place. Read More

As a parent, you’re constantly offering important life lessons and skills to empower your children to become responsible adults. And one of the most powerful tools you can provide is financial know-how. A strong foundation early on can help your children make smart financial decisions not only when they’re young, but also as they reach different life stages. Especially because many adults struggle to manage their own finances, it’s important for everyone, regardless of age, to achieve financial independence. How you discuss money may differ depending on your child’s age, but here are a few essential tips for every age:

Map Out Goals:

Children are constantly surrounded by money, whether they’re just learning to count or receiving their first allowance. But an essential concept for them to understand is the purpose of money, particularly how it’s earned and used. It’s important to educate your children that people must work for their money. Once they understand that it comes in limited amounts, you’ll be able to help them map out their goals for using their money to prioritize their needs and wants, along with philanthropic giving.

Don’t be afraid to share your own experiences with your child. By providing children with relatable examples, they’ll be able to develop a stronger understanding of managing their money to meet specific goals. Whether it’s as simple as creating a grocery list together or discussing how you might be saving for a longer term goal such as tuition for their college education, you’ll be able to show your child the range of objectives you’re meeting. This can also help demonstrate the importance of careful planning to make sure your assets are able to meet your goals.

Save and Budget:

While your children may be too young to start their first jobs, they’re never too young to start saving. Encouraging your child to save can help them see the rewards of delayed gratification. A piggy bank is a simple and tangible way for younger children to store money away. Even if it’s as little as putting in a few coins a day or a couple of dollars a week, over time they’ll be able to feel the weight of their labor. As they get older, consider opening a high yield savings account together to introduce the concept of interest. They can store those birthday checks or allowance earnings and see how that amount can grow over time. To incentivize saving, you may also want to reward their efforts with matching contributions.

As they learn about the ways money can grow with steady saving, children should also understand how to create and stick to a budget. Budgeting will demonstrate how savings can be allocated and used to achieve goals. Helping children save for their objectives can teach them to build a relationship with their spending. You can also use major milestones such as graduations, weddings, and births to discuss examples of financial goals. Motivation to save and budget can foster solid financial habits. Read More

For a lot of parents, sending their kids off to college is a bittersweet experience. It’s a battle between being proud of their son or daughter for taking this next step and thinking back on how fast the time has gone—and how it seems like just yesterday that they were 2 years old.

It wasn’t that long ago that I was stepping onto a college campus for the first time, and I remember how thankful I was for the effort my parents put into preparing me for that experience. But I think a lot of teenagers head to college without any idea about how money works. Ten years from now, they’ll more than likely be loaded up with student loan bills. It’s a scary trend that keeps getting worse.

Don’t let that happen to your college kid. Help them understand these issues before they step into that first class.

Budget, Budget, Budget. If you haven’t been using a budget, it will be difficult to convince your kid to use one. So start by making sure you understand budgeting and have begun to use it as part of your financial plan. Then, just walk them through the process—spending all of their money on paper and on purpose before each month begins. Everything should be broken into categories—food, gas, clothing, etc.

Independence Means Responsibility. Stepping out on your own is a big deal, but it’s not all fun and games. Living away from home means you have to take care of yourself. Do your best to prepare your son or daughter for what that means. Food doesn’t just drop out of the sky, and gas doesn’t magically appear in their car. Independence means responsibility.

College Isn’t Cheap. Even if your kid is going to a small community college, they’ll still probably have a few thousand dollars of tuition to pay. If you break it down, one class can cost $1,000 at the very minimum! And that doesn’t even include books. That means skipping class or blowing off homework is a waste of money—and a big fat dent in the GPA.

Choose a Major Wisely. Help your teenager find his or her passion. This isn’t a must before they step on campus, but simply plant a seed that gets them started thinking about what they want to do with their life. You don’t want them graduating with a degree that leaves them unfulfilled or unable to find a job.

Friends Matter. New friends mean new opportunities and new social situations. Who you hang out with definitely influences how you spend money and the decisions you make. Without being overbearing, remind them how important it is to have positive friends who build them up instead of bringing them down.

If your soon-to-be college student doesn’t seem to care, it might just take them messing up a few times to understand how important it is to have a plan for their money. They’ll come around quicker than you think once they have that first-hand experience.

Remember, you can make all the right decisions and give all the right advice, and it’s still possible that they will mess up. As a parent, just be there for support and to reinforce these principles throughout their college experience.

Growing up as Dave Ramsey’s kid, Rachel Cruze learned the basic principles of money at an early age. She travels across the country teaching those same principles, in a personal and passionate message of money and hope, to teens and young adults. Rachel’s also the host of Generation Change, a course that teaches teens about money and empowers them with the skills they need to become financially responsible adults. To find out more about Rachel, visit daveramsey.com/speakers or follow her on Twitter at @RachelCruze.

In case you haven’t checked your calendar recently, Mother’s Day is coming up: Sunday, May 12th, to be exact. What are your plans? Are you going to send some flowers or a card, chat with your mom on the phone, and congratulate yourself on doing your duty as a child? Assuming you live close enough, will you stop by for a quick visit? If so, you’re in good company. Thousands of other Americans will be doing the same thing. (In fact, Mother’s Day marks the pinnacle of holiday flower bouquet sales—yes, even topping Valentine’s Day!)

But this year, go a step beyond the canned card and obligatory visit.

No, of course there’s nothing wrong with flowers, greeting cards, calls, or visits because they all let your mother know that you put thought and energy into making her feel special. But if you take a moment to consider the extent to which your mother shaped and impacted your life, you’ll probably realize that you could show your appreciation in a much more meaningful way—and that your mom deserves the extra effort.

All too often, it’s our closest relationships—the ones into which we should be putting the most sincere and consistent work—that we allow to run on autopilot. Mother’s Day is the perfect time to reassess the place your own mother holds in your life, and hopefully, to consciously strengthen your bond.

If, like me, you are blessed to still have your mom, don’t take her for granted. The fact is, the future isn’t guaranteed to us—we can count on only the present moment.

Here, Patkin shares four things that will help you to accompany your mother’s bouquet of flowers with something she’ll remember and cherish long after the blooms have faded:

Think about what your mother might want to hear. Here’s one of life’s “funny” truths: We rarely verbalize the things we feel most deeply. That certainly applies to many mother-child relationships! Especially if you’re a parent yourself, think about the things you’d like to hear most from your own kids, now and in the future. Perhaps they might include: I have always known that I’m loved. You have given me the tools I need to build a fulfilling life. I know that you always did your best to be a good parent. And so on!

Being a parent is hard work—by far the toughest job there is, in my opinion. And parents tend to get little to no appreciation from their kids when they’re in the midst of raising them. Now is a wonderful time to tell your mother all of the things you didn’t know to express when you were a kid. You might even consider writing them down in her greeting card! Read More

With an ever-increasing number of computers, TVs, gaming systems, smartphones and other electronic gadgets in our homes, we are more reliant on electricity than ever before. However, both children and adults have become so accustomed to these electronic devices that they often forget about the potential electrical safety hazards associated with them.

According to the National Fire Protection Association (NFPA), electrical failures caused nearly 44,000 home fires in 2011, resulting in 1,620 injuries and $1.5 billion in property damage. As one of our most vulnerable populations, children are often most at risk when incidents like these occur. Sadly, nearly 500 children 14 years old and younger die each year due to unintentional fire or burn-related injuries.

In honor of National Electrical Safety Month in May and to decrease the number of electrical safety hazards in the home throughout the year, I encourage parents and grandparents to familiarize young children with these important electrical safety tips:

1. Keep liquids, including drinks, away from electrical items such as TVs, video game consoles and computers. They could spill and cause dangerous shocks or fires.
2. Never play with electrical cords, light sockets or outlets.
3. If you see a broken electrical cord in your house, tell an adult.
4. Do not overload outlets with too many plugs.
5. If you drop an appliance in water, do not try to retrieve it.

Parents and grandparents can find tools to help reinforce these safety precautions in the resources for children section on the Electrical Safety Foundation International (ESFI) website. Additionally, parents and grandparents can view animated safety videos and play interactive games with their elementary school-aged children at ESFI’s Kids’ Corner website. Read More

If you feel like the world your kids are growing up in is totally different from the one you knew as a kid…you’re right. From flatscreen televisions to smartphones to tablets to social media and more, technology has integrated itself into almost every aspect of our lives. (These days, even some kitchen appliances are connected to the Internet!) And while the ever-growing digital landscape offers vast opportunities for learning, growth, and entertainment, from a parent’s perspective it’s also worryingly similar to a fairytale forest: If your kids unwittingly stray off the path, they might encounter the big bad wolf.

Take a deep breath and relax. If you’re worried about digital pitfalls including inappropriate content, cyberbullying, screen time overload, and even the monetary cost of staying connected, there’s a middle ground between pulling the plug and hoping for the best.

As parents, even if we don’t understand every nuance of the digital world that we live in, it’s important to set rules and parameters to help our kids navigate it. In this way, handling technology is no different from many other things we do to keep our children safe.

Specifically, as the head of a digital family, it’s your responsibility to create and implement a Digital Family Policy; in other words, a (more or less) comprehensive document that covers how, when, where, and why your family uses technology (including consequences that will be enacted if rules are broken). Your Digital Family Policy should change with technological innovation as well as with the growth and maturation of your children.

Making things up as you go is a bad idea when it comes to how your family lives with and uses technology. It’s also unwise to assume that your children know what you expect from them as they navigate the digital world. A Digital Family Policy solves both problems. First, it forces you to think about the rules you want to set and to put them on paper. And secondly, once your document is complete, it’s a simple matter to review it with your children, to answer their questions, and to make sure your expectations are perfectly clear.

You wouldn’t hesitate to create a family fire safety plan, a list of numbers to call in case of emergency, or a calendar of weekly activities. In our connected and wired world, a Digital Family Policy is every bit as important in order to maximize the benefits of technology while mitigating its dangers.

Here are ten areas to focus on as you create your Digital Family Policy:

• Create guidelines based on age. It’s something every parent has heard, especially if there are multiple children in the house: “It’s not fair that he gets to do that just because he’s older!” No matter how many protests you hear, though, keep in mind that when it comes to technology, fair and appropriate aren’t always related. It makes the most sense for you to create different device rules according to age category rather than to create one rule that applies to your entire family. Read More

Busy parents struggle sometimes to have a few moments with their child to focus only on him or her.  It isn’t because of lack of love or concern, but rather knowing how to use small moments in life to give the child their undivided attention.

Children ask for our attention in a myriad of ways.  Parents are meeting children’s needs throughout the day whether it’s making sure the homework is done, getting meals ready or shuffling kids to sports or after school activities.  Having individual time with each child in a family can seem like a challenge.

It can be very satisfying for both parent and child when the parent takes an opportunity to listen to their child. If the parent is able to listen without expectation, judgment or advice, the child feels understood as he or she deals with every day disappointments, pressures and challenges.

How to squeeze in ‘one on one’ time:

• While driving with only one child in the car, picking up another or taking that child to an event or sport.
• Take turns with each child to allow ‘just dad’ or ‘just mom’ time and put it on a calendar.
• Set a time limit. Example 20 minutes before bedtime
• Stop your mind for a moment and ‘wrap your head around’ pausing during your day

Children love to have special time with a parent.  It makes them feel valued and gives them a chance to tell you about things they forget about during the day, what may be bothering them or just a feel good time.  Positive playtime with a parent is a gift for both parent and child.

How to enter a child’s world:

• Keep your mind open to what the child is saying.  She might start talking about a kid at school she doesn’t like.
• Try not to give advice right away.  Let her talk about this girl she doesn’t like.
• Listen actively.  Example:  “This girl really bothers you.”
• Let her have her feelings without trying to change them. Example: “You say she bosses everyone around and you can’t stand that.  You’re really mad because she seems to get away with it.”
• Wait to hear your child’s responses.  Let her ‘vent’ without trying to fix or problem solve the situation
• Ask your child how she thinks she wants to solve the problem.

If the child doesn’t seem like she wants to talk but you sense something is bothering her:

• Draw her out by giving her words; making guesses of what you think is happening.  Examples: “You’ve been very quiet today, did something happen?”  “You look frustrated.  What are you frustrated about?”
• Ask her to do something with you.  Example: “Can we draw pictures together?”  “Can you draw what frustrated looks like; what frustrated you today?”  “How about we rip up the paper when we are done?  I’ll draw what frustrated me today too.”

When the parent engages a child in an activity with the purpose of reaching inside of the child it helps him express himself. The child feels heard by the parent enabling the child’s inner world to grow.  The process of entering the world of the child validates him whereby allowing his self- esteem to flourish.

Having a parent ‘mirror’ his feelings, giving him permission to say negative things without judgment, has a way of bringing about happier moods.  A happier child feels stronger inside and is better able to express himself in the future.

Christine Alisa, M.S. is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist who has specialized with children and families for over twenty-five years. She is a workshop leader and trainer in her method that combines Gestalt Therapy and Regression Therapy with children.  Her book, “Turning the Hourglass: Children’s Therapeutic Passage Through Traumas and Past Lives” describes how she enters the world of the child to help them through issues of ADHD, learning disabilities, anxiety and depression.  It is available at http://www.amazon.com and http://bookstore.authorhouse.com . Her website is http://www.healingthroughalternativetherapy.com