Today's Parent | Parenting Resources… Articles, Advice, Help & Tips

I had just turned off the evening news and was on my way to the kitchen to begin dinner when Lizzie ran up to me, grabbed my waist and with very serious eyes, looked up to me and asked me this question. “Mommy, what if Santa can’t afford Christmas this year?”

Lizzie had been in earshot of the evening news and no doubt heard enough of the financial woes and was concerned. I hesitated, not wanting to scare her, but also not wanting to lie to her. Her father and I had expressed concern about bills, the holidays, and taxes–all of which may have contributed to Lizzie’s question and concern. I wasn’t sure what a 7-year-old should be told; but since I had always prided myself in open discussion, I decided to take the time and talk with Lizzie in an effort to answer her question.

You don’t have to be a news buff to be aware that times are tough right now. Protests are happening in every country including our own, news of banks making money but still charging a checking fee for customers; and there is fighting between politicians with ranting and raving depending on where their support dollars are coming from. It’s crazy, and on a more basic level, every household is trying to re-budget and pay back debt. Many of those households are full of children with holiday wish lists longer than your credit card receipts.

Parents with children such as Lizzie will be more effective at teaching their children the true meaning of the holidays, the depth of family love, and mentoring responsible spending if they take these sorts of questions seriously. Lizzie asked a serious question in her 7-year-old mind.

Here are five important tips that can be used again and again as the holidays grow closer.

1. Santa has nothing to do with money. Santa is about feeling loved and cared for. The toy you love most, and that will make you feel most loved, is the one Santa will try his best to get. It is important that as a parent, you help guide your child with gift requests. If you know your child wants a $100 toy, and you can only afford $50, then suggest another toy that would make your child feel just as loved. Don’t do this in a critical manner, but in a loving, supportive manner. Something such as this, “I know you want that toy, but that is so much money for one toy. What other toy could you get that would make you feel just as loved?” If you do this with a loving tone of voice, you are teaching compassion, understanding, and problem solving.

2. Reassure your child that adults like the spirit of the holidays too, and they are not going to let a Christmas go by–no matter how poor they are–without celebrating. No matter who you are, you should make every effort to celebrate holidays with your child. No matter what holiday you celebrate, children learn from the ritual and the spiritual concepts that surround the holidays.

3. Make the focus of the holidays on friends and family. Look at “wish lists” but also promote thinking of others. Children are very egocentric at young ages; that means it’s more important for parents not to be. Children who turn into generous, compassionate, and loving adults were nurtured by loving, compassionate and generous parents. You don’t have to be wealthy to be generous, loving and compassionate. Perhaps try sorting out good but used toys or books that are no longer age appropriate and going with your child to donate them to a children’s hospital or shelter where these might be greatly appreciated.

4. Parents need to set a budget for gifts and stick to it. The best gifts of all are the ones that cost the least, but speak the loudest of love and caring. Last year, a friend of mine bought me three pairs of running socks (I am a runner. I use these every single day). Inside the toe of each sock, she rolled up a slip of paper that had a quote of something I had said to her that meant the most throughout the year. Six quotes…so meaningful. It was my FAVORITE gift. The idea of giving a gift is thinking of what the person would like, or letting them know how they touched your life.

5. Let Lizzie know frequently, and any other child, that the economic crisis may mean everyone has less, but it will never take away their family. Santa may not be giving out as many gifts, but that’s okay because you have the best gift of all with one another. Children (and parents) who are reassured that their family is strong and loving can endure this and anything else.

To be honest, Lizzie, you may not get the biggest, most expensive toy this year, but the holidays will have more love than last year because the bigger you get, the more loving you become, and the more grateful I am to be your parent.

Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is a licensed psychotherapist and co-author with Janine J. Sherman, of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever. Read more about the book at www.StartTalkingBook.com and more about Rapini at www.maryjorapini.com.

We’ve all seen the headlines, “The Cost of College is Increasing at Twice the Rate of Inflation!” There have even been books written on the topic. Headlines decrying massive increases in the cost of college are sensational. They are attention grabbing. They are also unequivocally wrong!

Oh, it’s true that published tuition and fees have been going up significantly faster than inflation. According to The College Board, from 2005-06 to 2010-11 the sticker price at private, non-profit, four-year colleges has gone up 16.4% more than inflation. Over the same five-year period public, four-year schools have seen the sticker price increase 24.3% beyond inflation.

Statistics like these are fodder for the sensational headlines we are used to seeing. However, they are also an oversimplification that obscures the truth. The problem with such headlines is that the vast majority of students don’t pay the sticker price. Instead, they pay an amount that is reduced by grants and scholarships that are awarded by the school (also called institutional aid). The amount of money that schools actually receive from students is called net tuition and fees―the sticker price less institutional aid. Because institutional aid has been growing rapidly, net tuition revenue has not been increasing as much as sticker prices.

In fact, The College Board reports that, adjusted for inflation, net tuition and fees at private, non-profit, four-year colleges have fallen from $13,380 in 2005-06 to $13,120 in 2010-11, a 1.9% reduction. Over the same five-year period public, four-year schools have seen inflation adjusted net tuition and fees fall 6.4%. While real net tuition and fees have been up in some years and down in others, the truth is that the money collected by colleges and universities has grown at about the rate of inflation for many years. Think about it. All else equal, if net tuition and fees had been going up at twice the rate of inflation for decades, professors would be rich and schools would be awash in cash. Trust us, most aren’t.

At the same time, student loan debt has been increasing rapidly. According to The Project on Student Debt, the average debt for graduating seniors with loans in 1996 was $12,750. By 2008 that number swelled to $23,200. That’s an annual increase of just over 5%, or roughly twice the rate of inflation. Further, the percentage of graduating students that have debt is increasing as well, now eclipsing two-thirds of graduates.

If the real cost of college has been roughly flat, how can the average debt that students take on be increasing at twice the rate of inflation? There are a number of contributing factors.

More People are Going to College – According to the US Department of Education in 1972, 49% of high school graduates immediately enrolled in college. By 1997, the number had grown to 67%. The percentage has fluctuated in a tight range since then. The fact is that a lot more people are going to college these days. One of the reasons is that college loans have become much more available. In days gone by, if your family didn’t have the money to send you to school, you went to work. That’s not the case today. Many more people have access to higher education, but that access requires borrowing.

Mom is Already Working – When Doug graduated from high school in 1976, his mother went to work to pay his college expenses. These days most families don’t have that option. Mom is already working and her income is necessary to pay the family’s bills. In 1975, 47% of mothers worked outside of the home. Recently, this number peaked at 73%. Students like Doug are left to borrow. Read More

Many children will have fewer gifts this holiday season then in previous years. This financial reality provides mothers and fathers with the perfect opportunity to ponder the meaning money has played in their life and to consider what they would like to teach their children about it.  The best way to educate kids about the significance of money is for parents to explore their own feelings first.

The bare necessities initially come to mind when we consider the importance of money: food, clothing, and a roof over one’s head. Once those basic needs are covered, however, money is used in a variety of ways.

How we think about money is influenced by our upbringing. We learn all sorts of things by watching our parents. We learn about family life, about relationships, about love and respect, and we learn about the underlying meaning of money too.

Money is used to punish and to reward. It can represent dependency and self-reliance. Money can be a sign of greed and of generosity. It can stand for freedom, security, success and failure.   It can be a means to an end or an end in itself.

The subtle and not so subtle messages of everyday life slowly, over time, become the core of a child’s understanding of how to think about money. Whether we worry about money, hide it, fight about it, are overly focused on making it or give it little regard, children learn from us a lesson that influences their developing personalities.

Although they are unlikely to refuse it, guilt money is a particularly painful experience for kids. On the surface, spending lots of money on children seems to cheer them up.  On a deeper level, however, throwing money at problems undermines family relationships and creates unhealthy family dynamics. It also teaches kids a less than optimal lesson about problem solving.

What to tell kids about financial difficulties is another money related dilemma many families face. Kids can usually sense when something is wrong and they tend to fill in the blanks when important information is kept from them. Good communication doesn’t guarantee that children will be more cooperative or understanding. As a general rule though, avoiding difficult conversations doesn’t make matters any better either.

The objective is not to lie, but not to frighten or burden kids either. Rather, we want to teach them that money related issues can be responsibly discussed and overcome. Another important message is that talking about problems is the best way to begin to fix them. Demonstrating this coping strategy will serve them well as they grow up and confront their own difficult times.

Developing a healthy attitude about money probably isn’t what most people put at the top of their to-do lists as they begin preparing for the holidays.  Spoiling our sons and daughters feels like a pleasant relief to the burdens of life. And, children love presents, (we all do) there’s no doubt about that.

Enjoy the holidays! Rather than over over-indulging your family and friends take on the season with a sense of balance. Have fun without compromising your budget. Neither gifts nor money are a substitute for love. Love is sharing yourself is a thoughtful, honest, in depth, caring and consistent way. If you’re not completely happy with the meaning money has taken on in your life, this is certainly the right time of year to be re-evaluating that.

Loren Buckner, LCSW, author of “ParentWise:  The Emotional Challenges of Family Life and How To Deal With Them” received a B.A in the Administration of Justice from American University and earned a Master of Social Work degree from Tulane University. She is a Fellow at the International Psychotherapy Institute, a member of the Chinese American Psychoanalytic Alliance, and a member of the Tampa Bay Psychoanalytic Society. Loren Buckner lives in Tampa, Florida, where she is in private practice as a psychotherapist. She is the mother of two grown children and has been married for over thirty years. A sought-after speaker and presenter, Loren has addressed local, national and international groups about the emotional challenges of raising children. Visit Loren Buckner on the web at:  www.parentwisebook.com.

Do we ever stop paying for our kids, even after they reach adulthood? Many parents ask themselves this question, and now health insurance gets added to that list.

Healthcare reform now lets post-college adults use their parents’ health insurance, as long as the parents are willing to pay. The dependent age has been raised to 26 to cover the large number of uninsured young adults, many of whom are unemployed due to a slowly recovering economy.

However, paying for college impacts the financial well-being of families, and there are not always discretionary funds to help cover the health insurance needs of young adults. Adult dependents can be costly when added to a family insurance plan. The student may be coming off his or her college-mandated health insurance coverage, and could be left with no coverage, especially if unemployed or under-employed with only a part-time job.

A recent survey conducted by eHealthInsurance shows the varying views parents and their graduating children when it comes to funding post-college health insurance. The results are stark. Nearly 40 percent of parents do not plan to extend health insurance to their adult children.

But there are options.

Along with employer options, there are several paths post-college adults and their families can pursue for health insurance coverage, including healthcare plans that can serve as bridge to an employer-sponsored healthcare plan.

Having no insurance is simply not an option. Young adults are active and social, which create expected, though not often acknowledged, risks. Playing sports, traveling, exposure to others who may be ill – these and many other scenarios may not be top-of-mind for a 25-year-old, but that doesn’t make the risks any less real. Read More

As children grow older, many parents work hard to instill a sense of responsibility in their sons or daughters. Whether it’s teaching them the right approach to academics or trying to impart a concern for the community in which they live, parents recognize that children can greatly benefit from responsibility.

One area where that rings true is with respect to finances. An area where many adults even struggle, money management is a lesson that doesn’t need to wait for your child’s first job or his first credit card. A good approach can be to start giving your child an allowance at a young age. While some parents scoff at the notion of paying their child to do chores around the house, the right approach to allowance can prove quite beneficial in the long run. With even the smallest amounts of money, children can learn to budget, save and even to do some financial planning, all valuable lessons that can come in handy later in life.

While you might understandably remain skeptical of paying your child for things you consider to be part of life, following the right approach with respect to allowance can pay dividends for you and your child.

· Set the ground rules. Paying your child for everyday, run-of-the-mill chores is a bad approach. Things such as putting their laundry in the laundry basket or putting their toys away should not be considered allowance-worthy, as these are fundamental things all children should do anyway. However, giving them an allowance for going the extra mile or doing extraordinary chores is perfectly all right. This can include mowing the lawn, cleaning out the garage or other chores that are not part of the daily routine.

Also, it’s important to note that children should have to work for their allowance. Easy jobs such as making a bed won’t teach the value of hard work, but instead the notion of a quick, easy buck. When discussing allowance with your children, make sure they know these rules and that the everyday activities for which they don’t receive an allowance cannot go unaccounted for simply because they don’t yield any money in return. Let them know they won’t receive any money if they neglect a single chore.

· Teach them about money. Many people reach adulthood and have no idea how to manage money, which can result in bad credit, unpaid bills and, oftentimes, going back to mom and dad for financial assistance. Parents looking to avoid such a fate would be wise to teach their children about money at an early age. An allowance, particularly one with restrictions, is a great way to accomplish that. For instance, parents who give their children a $10 weekly allowance can mandate their children save at least $1 or $2 of that each week. These savings can then be placed into a savings account (most banks have saving accounts for children), where your child can see his or her money grow with interest and learn the value of saving some money, even the tiniest amount.

Also, make deals with your children for certain things they want. For example, if your child has his eye on a video game that costs $30, tell him you’ll split the cost of the game as soon as he saves $15. Once your child has saved $15 (which can seem like a lot to a child), he might even reconsider buying the game at all, which could teach him the value of spending wisely as well.

· Teach them hard work pays off. While it’s important to establish parameters for your child’s earning his allowance, make sure he knows those parameters are not necessarily set in stone and things can be adjusted if warranted. If he works extra hard, give him a little more allowance. This can teach the valuable lesson that working extra hard will reap more rewards.

As all parents know, going to college is a huge investment – in many cases, as much as buying a house. Along with the costs come a number of financial risks.

Imagine that your child arrives on campus and soon has their wallet stolen – and, along with it, his or her identity. Or that a few weeks into the fall semester, he or she contracts the flu and needs to leave school.

The following list highlights key risk areas for students:

Property loss: Many students and their parents assume that the students’ property is automatically covered by either the college’s or the landlord’s insurance policy, or under the parents’ homeowners insurance – this is not the case. Homeowners insurance only fully covers students living at home, and student property insurance usually only covers on-campus property.

Medical withdrawal: Many colleges and insurance providers now offer tuition insurance, an insurance that can reimburse the costs of attendance if a student is forced to withdraw for medical reasons, as well as protect the ability of the tuition payer to maintain their tuition or student loan payments in the case of unforeseen disability, death, sickness or involuntary unemployment, depending on the policy. Many policies, however, are either limited in what they cover or expire early into the semester.

Identity theft: Young adults between 18 and 24 are the group with the highest risk for ID theft, according to a recent survey by Javelin Strategy & Research. The average amount of money stolen per victim comes close to $5,000. Affordable insurance products are available to protect against this risk as well and are another smart buy college students should consider.

Health insurance: All students are now required to have health insurance. If the students aren’t already covered under their parents’ policy, this can be a lengthy and expensive procedure. And more often than not, the off-the-shelf plans colleges offer are not competitive. The right product can save students time, grief and money.

Contributed by NGI, a national specialty insurance marketing firm based in Boston, MA and Phoenix, AZ, focused on the collegiate market, offering a range of products to meet the needs of students. More information is available on their website at www.nextgenins.com.

As hundreds of thousands of parents send their kids off to college in the coming months, many of them will be wondering if it marks the last time their children will be living under their roofs.

According to a study conducted by Twentysomething Inc., a consultant firm specializing in young adults, 85 percent of the class of 2011 will wind up moving back in with mom and dad once they get their degrees. The cause? A combination of a shrinking entry level job market and crushing college loan debt.

The average student accumulates over $23,000 in student loan debt and $4,000 in credit card debt during their years as an undergraduate student. All these stats basically tell the same story: our next generation of college graduates will enter the next phases of their lives in a personal finance hell composed of a combination of crushing debt and poor credit.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Below you’ll find a few tips aimed specifically at helping those who are just entering college or about to graduate establish and keep a good credit rating. They include:

· New Credit Cards – Credit card companies love to hammer new students and new graduates with seemingly generous offers of unsecured credit cards. Don’t take the bait. There are other ways to establish credit without opening yourself up to the slippery slope of introductory interest rates that change after 6 months or the temptation to use that credit to live above your means.

· Authorized Users – If your parents are financially responsible (not always the case sometimes) and pay their bills on time every month, I suggest that you be added as an authorized user on their credit card. Make sure to provide your personal information and social security number to the credit card company so that your credit history report will reflect transactions performed on this account. In about six months, after you’ve learned with the authorized user training wheels how to manage your credit reliably and maintained a responsible payment history, you will receive your own credit card offers.

· Secured Credit Card – The temptation will be to apply for an unsecured credit card, but that’s still not wise or necessary to establish good credit and good habits. Instead, apply for a secured credit card at your local bank. With a secured credit card, you place a nominal amount of money in a savings account that cannot be withdrawn as it is used as recourse to pay back your debts in case you do not pay them yourself. In essence, your spending limit on your secured card is exactly the amount you place in the linked savings account – hence, your debt is secured by the money in your account. Just like a normal credit card, you will receive a monthly statement to pay off a portion or all of your debts but meanwhile your payment history will be reported to the credit bureaus. Within months you will receive offers for other unsecured credit cards. It’s not necessary to have more credit cards than you need, because not only will it present temptation, but it may also lower your credit rating.

The bottom line here is that once you have use of a credit card, you want to pay your bills on time, keep your balances low, don’t take on more credit than you need and if you’ve missed a payment you should get current and stay current. Good credit can be your best financial friend as you go through life and bad credit can be the ball and chain that drags you down.

Gabe Albarian, a 28 year-old businessman has worked in real estate sales, finance, and investment for nearly 10 years and has done extensive consulting work in personal finance for both individuals and groups. He earned his undergraduate degree in Political Science at the University of California, Los Angeles and is currently pursuing his Masters in Business Administration with an emphasis in Finance at the Marshall School of Business at the University of Southern California.

Kids’ birthday parties have gotten out of hand. Celebrities began the trend with birthday bashes that outsized Hollywood movie openings. Thanks to the trickle-down theory, private parties for the little people must now have everything from a guest performer to a theme with lots of bells and whistles. Before you rent that bouncy princess castle or buy all-thematic accessories, consider the following nine bargain-basic tips.

1. Plan Ahead

Wait until the last minute and you’ll likely spend more on unanticipated extras. Decide what you want to accomplish, set a budget and slowly chip away at all you need to accomplish. You might also enlist the help of family and friends to keep your stress level down.

2. Limit the Guest List

Does the entire class really need to attend? Invite only your child’s closest friends, but be tactful. Mail or email invites, rather than have your child distribute them in school where everyone can see.

3. DIY Invites

Personalized invites are as close as your computer. Use a special photo or download free birthday clip art to make your own creation or, if you want to go electronic, check out websites like AmericanGreetings.com or the very popular evite.com.

4. Use Discount Gift Cards

Buy discount gift cards from sites like GiftCardGranny.com to pay for all the party supplies. You can use them to buy everything from cake mix to gas for running around town.

5. Dollar Store Decor

Party stores have unholy markups on the simplest supplies. Shop a dollar store for all your basics and save up to 70 percent on everything from balloons to party favors. You’ll also find a decent selection of wrapping paper and reusable gifts, as well as plates and cutlery for the birthday treats. Read More

The Government Accountability Office recently found that textbooks can represent up to 25% of the tuition and fees at four-year public institutions, and as much as 75% of the tuition and fees at two-year community colleges.  With $306 billion in annual spend for college students, the price of an education is rising.  The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics quotes that $361 are spent per student, per month.  On average, $900 per year on textbooks, and textbook prices have been rising at twice the rate of inflation over the last two decades. These money-saving tips can help parents and their college-bound children:

1. Ignore the little things

Don’t stress out about paper, pens, and the small things.  Many parents stock up on a ton of these things, and their kids never use them.  While your kids may pay more for these things once they get to school, wait until they find out exactly what they want and need.

2. Timing is Everything

Back to school season is one of the largest retail seasons of the year, and stores will offer huge discounts for common products.  Find these discounts and you’ll save big.

3. Student Discounts

Several stores offer discounts specifically for students. Now that you’re kid is a college student, they can capitalize on this.  Student discounts are great for computers and electronics.

4. Research Textbook Costs

You can often save 50% or more by buying your textbooks online.  Use a price comparison engine to make sure you find the best possible prices – a good one is SwoopThat.com.  It integrates directly with your courses and automatically searches the web (Amazon, Half, Abe Books, etc.) to find you the cheapest prices for all your books.

5. Browse Craigslist

You’ll find a ton of cheap and great second hand products.

6. Download some sweet iPhone Apps

There are a ton of great apps for college students.  Use rate my professor to sign up for good classes, Evernote for easy notes during class, or Pageonce Personal Finance to manage your money. Read More

You can hear the groans across the country. Summer has barely begun and already retailers are holding back-to-school sales. Toys R Us actually started their sales July 1, with an end date of July 23. The National Retail Federation says some sales may continue through August, but there might not be the same selection. That’s reason enough to consider shopping now.

The question is how to save without busting your budget. Here are 11 savings tips to help you through this early shopping season.

1. Take Inventory

Consider what you’ll actually need before hitting the stores. Has your child grown out of their schools clothes or will they do so by September? Can you reuse last year’s school supplies or will you need to replace some items?

2. Set a Budget

Create a shopping list and stick to it, so you avoid impulse purchases. That fancy-schmancy Transformers’ Trapper Keeper can push your budget over the edge.

3. Use Coupons

There may be great deals, but coupons can make them even greater. Check out sites like CouponSherpa.com that offer a wide selection of online, printable, and mobile coupons for back to school savings.

4. Shop Early

While it seems awfully early to think about school shopping, this is when stores are rolling out their best deals of the year. As they say, the early bird gets the worm.

5. Go Mobile

Tap into your mobile phone with apps like “RedLaser,” which allows you to scan bar codes and find any cheaper prices online or at other retailers.

6. Check Social Media

Twitter and Facebook are great places to find deals offered to a brand’s social-media fan base. “Like” or “Follow” the merchant and keep an eye out for coupons and sales announcements. Read More