Today's Parent | Parenting Resources… Articles, Advice, Help & Tips

Whether it’s a casual remark tossed aside by a childcare provider or an earnest discussion with a teacher or coach, there’s nothing quite as painful as hearing negative feedback regarding your child’s intellect, developmental pace or abilities. Everyone wants to believe that their child is Mary-Poppins “practically perfect in every way,” but that’s simply not the case. Children, just like adults, have their own individual strengths and weaknesses. Before you allow a poor evaluation to upset you and spoil your attitude, it’s wise to look for a course of action that will be both productive and reassuring.

Be Honest With Yourself

When you hear a teacher or childcare provider openly discuss a weakness that you know your child possesses, your natural instinct may be to cling to denial. It’s important to remember, though, that denying a problem exists will not make it go away. The first step to proactive and productive problem management is to accept the news you know is true, even if it’s something you don’t want to hear. After all, how will you begin to go about correcting an issue if you refuse to acknowledge it out of pride and fear?

Listen Carefully

The news that your child has not reached developmentally appropriate milestones for her age, that she may be exhibiting signs of a learning difference or that there are signs of a burgeoning behavioral problem is never easy to hear. Rather than tuning out when the negative words are spoken, force yourself to listen carefully to the assessment you’re receiving. You won’t be able to provide your child with the help that she needs if you’re too upset or afraid to listen closely, ask the appropriate questions and engage in a dialog with the professionals providing the evaluation. You also don’t want to jump to conclusions, falling under the misapprehension that the situation is far worse than it actually is, simply because you stopped listening when the conversation took a turn for the negative.

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If you’re a mother, it goes without saying that you’re passionate about a lot of things when it comes to your children’s well-being. There are 1,001 things that matter, and trying to keep up with the latest “best advice” on what your child really needs to be healthy, happy, and successful can be overwhelming. But no matter what else tops your family’s priority list, one thing is the same for us all: Good nutrition is important for each and every child.

Have you ever stopped to think about how children actually grow? Their developing brains, organs, and nervous systems are being built cell by cell during infancy and early childhood. Specifically, babies’ brains grow faster from birth to three years than at any other time of life—and that growth is fueled by the food they eat!

In fact, a recent study from the University of Bristol in the UK suggests that early childhood eating habits, especially up to the age of three, “may play a role in shaping the development of the brain, and thus affect behavior, learning performance, and IQ in later life.”

Clearly, the first few years are one of the most important nutritional times for kids. But smart eating starts even earlier than that. Getting enough omega-3s during pregnancy can boost your child’s IQ by more than 3.5 points, according to a new study from NYU. Omega-3s are directly related to brain and nervous system development. Good sources are fish, fish oil, walnuts, and flax.

With that in mind, doesn’t it make sense to provide your kids with nutritious foods and healthy eating habits that will lay the groundwork for a healthier life? Though it may seem overwhelming at first, maintaining a nutritious kitchen doesn’t have to be yet another burdensome chore that you do only because it’s good for you and your family.

Trust me on that—I love eating and consider it to be one of life’s great pleasures!. In fact, since I made the switch to healthier eating during my first pregnancy, I have felt better and enjoyed food more because my new dietary choices are both delicious and guilt-free. It takes 30 days of consistent behavior to make or break a habit. That’s not so much, right? I encourage you and your family to give your meals a 30-day nutrition makeover and see if, by the end of that time period, nutrition has become a natural and enjoyable part of your daily routine.

Here are twelve simple tactics that will help you get started:

Figure out what a healthy diet looks like for your family. You might find it helpful to think of daily nutrition as a plate. Fill half of your plate with fruits and vegetables, one-quarter with grains, and one-quarter with protein. Include dairy three times a day. Here’s another way to look at it: Eat about twice as many fruits and veggies as you do grains and protein.

Overall, the magic number for daily servings of fruits and vegetables is seven. This will result in optimal physical health and mental well-being. Keep in mind that a child-sized portion is about half the size of an adult portion; for example, half a banana instead of a whole one. If you are teaching your child about the plate rule, use a smaller plate than your own. Read More

Like many couples, my husband and I chose to write our own wedding vows. Our relationship had been anything but a straight path; rather ‘around the cragged hill’ to crib historian George F. Kennan. After all, I was marrying a motorcycle driving, free-spirited guy who enjoyed living out of a suitcase and flitting from one city to the next across continents. He had even lived atop a hotel in Greece, building a shanty for shelter on rainy nights. No stranger to adventure myself, I had lived and worked in Bangkok, Thailand and traveled around the world solo. I enjoyed canyoneering, abseiling and long runs.

In thinking about how to encapsulate my feelings aloud in a few minutes before fifty close family members and friends, I kept humming a childhood favorite, “Bein’ Green” and thought of Kermit the Frog singing that tune in a farm field. I realized the words from the song made me feel as I do with my husband – inspired, confident and ready to take on any challenge. Kermit offers leadership tips that can be translated to success.

Stanza 1:

It’s not that easy being green

Having to spend each day the color of the leaves

When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold

Or something much more colorful like that

Just like Kermit, I was always longing for something else. I have curly hair but I always pined for glossy, straight locks. I had to give up my favorite sport, figure skating at the age of 12, because I grew six inches in one summer and my center of gravity and balance shifted.　It took my husband and Kermit to make me realize that my sassy waves and long legs don’t define me.

Leadership Trait #1– Leaders are self-aware. They are also self-confident and understand their own strengths and weaknesses. They recognize that character truly distinguishes who you are, not your reflection. Further, they believe they have control over their own destinies and are not threatened or intimidated by opposing viewpoints.

How to translate to success? Do not compare yourself to anyone else. As individuals, each one of us can offer the world our best qualities if we start from within. If you keep making excuses that lead to self-deprecation, you will continuously be caught in a downward spiral. Take a few minutes. Write out the things you love about your own character and how you’re interested in applying those traits to everyday. Is it a workshop you have always thought of taking at your local community college? A volunteer training session at your hospital? Read More

Here she goes again! Your mother-in-law is telling you what you should be doing (or not doing) with your child. You’ve never asked for her advice, but for some reason she feels compelled to share it with you anyway. It wouldn’t be so bad if she only tossed off a comment occasionally, but it seems like she corrects you every time you get together—and often more than once per visit! She’s been known to share such little gems as:

• “The baby feels so warm all bundled up like that. Why don’t you take that blanket off of her?”
• “We never let our children have so many choices. It just makes it harder for you and for them when you do.”
• “Do you really want him to get dependent on that pacifier?”
• “She seemed hungry so I gave her a few snacks.”

Parenting is complicated enough. Moms are constantly bombarded with conflicting ideas and beliefs from books, websites, and blogs. (“Don’t pick the baby up every time he cries or you’ll spoil him!” vs. “It’s always okay to soothe a crying infant because you want him to grow up feeling safe and loved!”) Then you have the professionals telling you one thing one day and something completely different the next. It’s enough to make anyone feel crazy. And although you may be able to handle these intrusions by shutting them off or blocking them out, being scrutinized by your mother-in-law on every parental decision you make is more than any mother can or should have to take.

You’ve tried being polite, you’ve tried ignoring her, and you’ve even tried talking with her, but still the stream of unsolicited advice continues. Nothing works! You’ve even gotten to the point where you avoid the woman whenever possible. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work either! (After all, she is family!)

So, before you resort to strangling your husband’s mom, consider the following five tips for dealing with her unending well-meaning yet unwanted parenting advice:

1. Don’t take what she says personally. As hard as this may be, remember that her constant advice giving says more about her than it does about you. What’s fueling her behavior is a strong need to give advice, which has nothing at all to do with whether or not you actually need it! Read More

The professional relationship between a nanny and her employers can be a complicated one, as the sheer proximity and personal nature of the position makes it difficult to maintain the proper boundaries. All too often, however, parents who are determined to maintain those boundaries in the interest of preserving their working relationship with a nanny end up being too distant and aloof. Communication with your nanny is key to the success of not only your relationship, but also her future with your family and the quality of the services she provides. Striking the balance between “personal” and “too personal” doesn’t have to be complicated, especially if you keep certain tips and hints in mind.

Keep a Journal

If you find that there’s time for little more than a harried greeting in the early hours of the morning and your exhausted nanny is eager to escape when you return late at night, that doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is doomed to a few words in passing between meetings. Maintaining a journal in which both of you communicate the events of the day or evening, questions, comments and even requests can help to facilitate communication even when you don’t have the time to do it in person. Just be sure that you use the journal as a tool for sharing important information and schedules between face-to-face meetings, not as a means of replacing them all together.

Arrange Regularly Scheduled Meetings

Sitting down at the end of a long day that stretches well into the evening for a lengthy chat isn’t always feasible, but exclusively passing notes or emails to keep one another abreast of new developments is highly impersonal. Making sure that you schedule regular meetings with your nanny to discuss new developments or changes and keep one another informed regarding kids’ progress is not only an effective way of making sure that everyone is on the same page, but also that you have some opportunity to forge an acquaintanceship. If for no other reason, maintain a regular schedule of meetings in order to get to know the woman that’s in charge of your children and home all day; after all, it’s difficult to trust someone you barely know.

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As your child grows, helping him learn to share his feelings with the people around him and to deal with them in healthy, productive ways becomes more and more important. It’s not always easy to help youngsters navigate the complicated world of emotions, but the habits they learn during these formative years will shape the way they deal with those feelings long after they’ve reached adulthood. These twelve tips can help you empower your child to share his feelings, even when they’re negative.

Model The Behavior You Want Your Child to Learn – If you routinely bottle up your own emotions and return any inquiries regarding your emotional state with a terse assertion that you’re “fine,” you can’t expect your child to be open and forthcoming with his feelings. Remember, kids model what they see and take their cues from the adults around them. If you want your child to express his feelings readily, you have to be prepared to do the same.

Never Minimize His Feelings – When your child is disappointed because he didn’t get the role in the school play he wanted or was picked last for the team, your knee-jerk reaction may be to calm him with words like “it’s only a school play,” or “sports aren’t that important.” While you may be genuinely trying to help him feel better, your child hears that his feelings aren’t important, or that he’s overreacting. Don’t minimize his feelings when he brings them to you. Instead, try to show empathy and listen to what he’s saying.

Create an Open and Safe Environment for Discussion About Emotions – Your child isn’t likely to share his feelings with the rest of the world if he doesn’t feel safe sharing them in his own home. Make sure that your child knows it’s always okay to talk about his feelings, even if they’re angry or frustrated feelings.

Help Him to Process His Feelings – Emotions can be scary and confusing things for adults, so it’s no wonder that children find themselves overwhelmed by what they’re feeling from time to time. In order to share his feelings, your child must first have a basic understanding of how to process them.

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Despite the fact that Father’s Day consistently falls on the third Sunday in June, the celebratory holiday tends to sneak up on an overwhelming number of people. This year don’t let this day dedicated to honoring Dad fall through the cracks. Instead, start brainstorming ideas for gifts you can give him now. Consider your dad’s interests and hobbies to come up with a gift that will bring a smile to his face. For ample suggestions, look at these 30 blog posts.

Sports-Minded

Whether dear old Dad likes to play sports or is happy being an armchair quarterback, he might enjoy a sports-related gift. If he plays golf, some new covers for his clubs or a personalized golf towel to hang on his bag are both fun and functional gifts. For those dads who prefer to watch others play, a DVD set featuring famous sports highlights and the best plays of all time will likely be a slam dunk. Take a look at these six blog entries for more sports related gifts.

• Father’s Day Gift Idea!
• Great Father’s Day Gifts to Make Him Feel Like the Man of the House
• Father’s Day 2013—Tips for Tailoring the Gift to Your Dad
• Father’s Day Gifts
• Best Father’s Day Gift for Gadget Lovers
• Top 5 Eco-Friendly Father’s Day Gifts

Gear-Head

For the dad that loves to tinker on his car and has been dreaming of owning a sports car someday, a car-themed gift may be just the thing he needs. You might also want to get your dad an accessory for his car, like new floor mats or the latest in car stereos. Check out these six blogs to find more car-related gift ideas.

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Science for your young child doesn’t have to be technical, require complicated ingredients, or even take more than 15 minutes. Science should be an activity that explores cause and effect, encourages questions and researching answers, and fun! Here are a few activities to get your started with your child!

Baking soda and vinegar – Baking soda and vinegar is one of the simplest chemical reactions found around the home. You can start by putting a small amount of baking soda in a clear glass, add some vinegar and watch what happens. From here you can go onto to discussing volcanos and then make your own (create a paper mache volcano creating a well for the “lava”). Once you are ready, add some baking soda to the well, and pour in vinegar (you can dye with food coloring for special effects!) to watch it erupt! Baking soda and vinegar experiments can provide endless hours of fun, but you can also try to create the same reaction using other liquids found around the house (please make sure all are safe for children to be around!).

Melting and freezing – Water and ice are the simplest examples of melting and freezing, and can be found in your own kitchen! Make ice cubes with your child, explain what happens when you lower the temperature of water to below freezing. Melt the ice cubes with your child (it’s a great activity for those really hot days!) and discuss how the ice is changing back into a liquid and why. You can create larger ice blocks by filling larger containers with water and freezing for 24 hours, if you add food coloring before you freeze them you’ll end up with multi-colored bricks!

Trees and nature – Find a small tree in your neighborhood that your child can easily observe year-round. Have them observe the tree and record their findings in a journal. They should look at the leaves, at the trunk, the ground around the tree, and even get a bit closer to the tree and find out what insects might be using the tree. Visit the tree every few months and repeat the observations. Discuss what changes have occurred throughout the year. Taking your child’s photo by the tree each time will help your child see their growth compared to the growth of the tree!

Floating in the air – Find a spot at a local playground that’s up off the ground, high enough to drop objects from safely. Use this as your station to compare how different objects travel through the air. Gather items such as cotton balls, paper, feathers, pinecones, balls, and other objects you’d like to use in your experiments. You can drop them one at a time and observe what happens and then start making predictions about which object will fall more slowly to the ground when you drop two at the same time. Record your predictions and make a chart to document your findings!

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Creativity in a child gives him more than just the ability to play pretend or be artistic, it also leads a child to think and reason for himself. Having a well-tuned imagination will give your child an advantage when he enters the adult world. When he can look at an issue from many points of view and imagine several solutions he will be an asset in any career he chooses. Here are a few ways to help encourage creativity and abstract thinking in your child.

Let your child be bored from time to time. If children are not too busy with their extracurricular activities these days, they are usually in front of some type of screen. There is little to no imaginary thought in TV, video games and computer games. When your child whines to you that he is has nothing to do, tell him that you are confident he will find something interesting to do and leave it at that. Let him come up with the activity.

Be okay with messes and mistakes. Creativity requires trial and error. Trial and error sometimes means messes, and at times it creates mistakes. It can be very difficult for parents to accept that in order for their child to learn to think outside the box, he will have to first make a giant mess of that box. There is no reason your child cannot help you clean the mess up or fix whatever might be broken, but by making mistakes your child will learn a lot.

Give your child warning when transitions are coming. For a truly creative child who is mostly in his own world, transitions can be challenging to say the least. You can assist your child in making these transitions by giving him several warnings when he is going to be required to participate in family events or go somewhere. Giving him a clear schedule with plenty of “play” time can help a child that does not tend to be creative to let loose and find his creativity.

There are no dumb comments or questions. The quickest way to stop a creative child in his tracks is to say or act as if the things he observes or the questions he asks are silly. A child whose thoughts are creatively inquisitive should be encouraged.

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Family reunions are a wonderful time to celebrate history and enjoy the company of those near and dear. While reflecting on your family’s heritage, it is also important to look ahead to the future of your family by discussing health concerns.

Tough Subject

Though marked with stories and laughter, these gatherings are also a perfect time to talk about important matters that affect the health of your family members. As the number of those with common ailments such as obesity, heart disease and cancer continues to rise, there are other major conditions that should not be overlooked, such as kidney disease.

According to the U.S. Renal Data System, nearly one in six African Americans has signs of kidney disease. With the two primary causes being diabetes and high blood pressure, family reunions are a great opportunity to gather everyone and talk about family health, as well as encourage those at risk to get tested. The National Kidney Disease Education Program’s Family Reunion Health Guide can help you plan a talk about kidney disease and African American families. Visit http://nkdep.nih.gov/family-reunion to order a copy.

Five Tips for Healthier Family Reunions

It can be easy to get family members of all ages involved in healthful activities. Just including a few small changes to your family reunion activities will help get even the youngest members more involved and create a memorable experience for all in attendance.

Here are some tips to improve your reunion with healthier activities:

Serve Healthy Snacks – This year, skip the fried and fatty foods and serve only wholesome, healthy foods such as whole grains, fruits, veggies, and lean proteins. If foods are served in a potluck style, be sure to connect with other family members and spread the word to only bring foods on the healthy, lighter side.

Track Family Health – Capture your families’ health history. The Surgeon General’s My Family Health Portrait tool can help you track health conditions that your doctor should know about. To begin your own family’s health tracker, visit www.familyhistory.hhs.gov.

Make Your Reunion Interactive – Ask a tech-savvy family member to interview elders within your family using a mobile phone or tablet. From this, create a keepsake video that future generations can watch to better understand family history and health history. Also, invite kids to get involved in creating a Facebook group to keep your family informed and excited about the reunion.

Get Out and Walk – Start a walking or jogging group with your family while at your reunion. Having a buddy can help you stay motivated and active after the reunion. Plus, this will allow you more opportunities for family time in the future.

For more information on kidney disease, diabetes, healthy eating and physical activity, visit www.niddk.nih.gov.

Source: National Kidney Disease Education Program