Today's Parent | Parenting Resources… Articles, Advice, Help & Tips

For every child, summer is the time for playing with friends, spending time outdoors and exploring the world outside of the classroom. Unfortunately, it is also the season children and adults are most likely to suffer injuries to the eyes from trauma and accidents. Each year, 2.5 million people suffer from eye injuries with 1400 of those being caused by fireworks. These injuries can result in permanent loss of vision, even blindness, and many of these injuries can be prevented and their severity minimized by prompt evaluation and medical treatment. July is National Eye Safety month, and as medical practitioners who care for children with eye and vision problems, the Association for Pediatric Ophthalmology and Strabismus (AAPOS) want all parents to know how to prevent eye injuries and what to do if a child sustains an eye injury.

Prevention is the most important step. Children should never have access to fireworks, whether they are approved “safe and sane” and especially if they are illegal. If you are celebrating July 4th, let the professionals handle the fireworks, but if you do use approved and legal fireworks at home, show your children you care for their safety by wearing protective eyewear yourself and making certain spectators are well away from the display.

A second way to prevent eye injuries is by using protective eyewear when playing sports or doing projects around the house. Children playing hockey, racquetball and even baseball, should be provided with helmets, facemasks or protective eyewear. Adults and children should always wear protective eyewear when operating power tools, lawn equipment and when working with machinery. Children who see adults taking precautions will grow up being more careful themselves.

If a child or an adult sustains an injury to the eye:

Step one: if a chemical is accidently splashed into the eye, rinse the eye thoroughly with water, then immediately call your child’s doctor, poison control center or emergency department for advice. They will likely advise you to seek care at an emergency department or with an ophthalmologist: a medical doctor who specializes in treatment of eye and vision problems.  Bring the chemical with you as this will help determine the correct treatment.

Step two: If a child receives blunt trauma (ball, fist or fall) or sharp trauma (stick or projectile) seek medical care immediately. The physician will check the vision, examine the surface of the eye with special magnifying instruments and may obtain x-rays or MRI to evaluate for fractures in the bones surrounding the eye. Examination by or referral to an ophthalmologist may be necessary, as they will be able to perform more thorough examination and perform surgery if needed.

Step Three: Keep your follow-up appointments with your ophthalmologist. Children who sustain injuries to the eyes are at increased risk for long term problems, which can lead to vision impairment long after the initial injury. For example, treatable conditions such as glaucoma (high eye pressure) and retinal detachments can be prevented and treated with appropriate long-term care.

Contributed by the American Association for Pediatric Ophthalmology and Strabismus. AAPOS is the American Association for Pediatric Ophthalmology and Strabismus. The organization’s goals are to advance the quality of children’s eye care, support the training of pediatric ophthalmologists, support research activities in pediatric ophthalmology, and advance the care of adults with strabismus. Further information regarding vision screening and many other topics on childhood eye problems can be found at www.aapos.org.

As an asthma sufferer and parent of a child with asthma, I understand the challenges parents face in managing their child’s symptoms. I suffered from asthma symptoms for years prior to my diagnosis. Thankfully, my parents were my best advocates and after seeking medical attention, I was diagnosed with asthma. It was a huge relief to have finally identified the problem and from that point on, my asthma symptoms became easier to manage.

When I noticed my son Nicholas started to experience the same symptoms, it was a wake-up call for me. After taking him to the pediatrician, he was diagnosed with asthma and began treatments right away. As concerned as I was for him to be diagnosed, I was relieved that we were able to get him on a treatment plan quickly.

Many people may not realize the prevalence or seriousness of asthma. According to the American Lung Association, roughly seven million children live with asthma, and if it’s not managed correctly, it can be life threatening for some patients. However, with proper treatment and knowledge of asthma symptoms and triggers, your child’s asthma can be managed effectively. Here are a few steps you can take:

Know the signs.

Pay attention to any complaints your child may have. Common asthma symptoms include shortness of breath, coughing, wheezing and a tightening of the chest. Be proactive about scheduling appointments with your healthcare provider (HCP) and work with him or her to reduce these symptoms.

Pay attention to triggers.

Asthma triggers can be found everywhere, including the home. Mold, cleaning solutions and animal dander are all common asthma triggers. The outdoor environment is also a huge factor, as seasonal changes can trigger your child’s asthma symptoms.

Track the symptoms.

Use an asthma diary to track your child’s symptoms. The diary will help you see patterns in what triggers your child’s asthma symptoms and will help your HCP create a more effective treatment plan. Read More

Infant and toddler brains appear to be well-suited for reading. Thousands of parents worldwide are having success teaching their babies to read using books and other fun literacy activities, games, and even multimedia reading programs. With 4 out of 10 American eight-year-olds unable to read proficiently, I encourage parents, who are children’s first reading teachers, to get their young children off to a good start before they get to kindergarten.

Here are five reasons to teach your baby or toddler to read.

Zero to age six is when language proficiency develops in the brain.

Well before your child can speak or read, she is absorbing language at a phenomenal pace. In the first year of life, her brain will triple in size; by the time she enters kindergarten, it will be almost as big as yours. It is during this critical period that many of the neural pathways establishing language proficiency are formed. This is why, as your child’s first reading teacher, it is so crucial to make the most of these early years by introducing reading as joyful play.

Early literacy engagement gives your baby an enormous advantage.

Spending just a few minutes a day engaging your baby or toddler in literacy activities that include lots of speech and positive parent/child interaction, along with traditional techniques such as reading aloud, may give your baby a 32-million-word advantage by kindergarten over children who did not get this exposure; some neuroscientists even report that early intervention with appropriate literacy activity can make your child less likely to develop learning problems such as dyslexia.

For babies and toddlers, literacy activities are fun, not work.

Learning to read is work for the six-year-old beginner, but it’s play for babies and toddlers, and it’s amazing what they can pick up. Go to YouTube and search ‘baby reading’ to see toddlers who can show you how well they read, not just words, but easy books and signs they haven’t seen before. In my book, I include age-appropriate games and activities very young children love to do with their favorite reading teacher — their parent — which develop reading and writing skills while your baby is having fun.

Babies’ brains are uniquely suited to early reading.

In my experience, all babies have special capacity for perceiving patterns and connecting symbols with meaning, which can begin as early as eight months of age. All babies have good recognition memory and novelty preference, so they enjoy looking at pictures and word cards with their parents. Perceiving patterns and connecting symbols with meaning is what reading is all about. When shown contrasting word patterns five minutes a day in a joint media engagement with their parents, two and three-year-olds can intuit phonics. This is true for parents who are using multimedia technology, in addition to reading aloud and sharing books.

Babies’ right-brain learning gives them special capacities for reading.

Childhood education experts who have only studied school-aged children incorrectly assume that babies and toddlers must learn to read like six-year-olds, who develop left-brain reading systems through formal instruction. They are wrong. Babies and toddlers likely begin as right-brain readers who pick up reading as easily as they pick up three languages if all three languages are spoken by their caregivers between birth and age three. (If one waits until age six, it’s not so easy for the child to pick up three languages simultaneously. The baby brain, not the six-year-old brain, has special language and reading capacities.)

J. Richard Gentry PhD is a nationally acclaimed expert on childhood literacy, reading, and spelling development, and the author of “Raising Confident Readers: How to Teach Your Child to Read and Write — from Baby to Age 7” (Da Capo/Perseus). Find out more at www.jrichardgentry.com.

According to The Center for Disease Control and Prevention, Infertility is a disease that affects more than 7.3 million Americans, or 1 in 8 couples of childbearing age.   The diagnosis of infertility is often very overwhelming for patients. Not only are they faced with the news that conceiving a child is only possible through medical treatment, they are also presented with information that is totally new to them. New medical jargon along with recommendations for treatments and tests that are completely unfamiliar can be very intimidating for the newly diagnosed.

Conception is a complicated process that depends upon many factors: on the production of healthy sperm by the man and healthy eggs by the woman; unblocked fallopian tubes that allow the sperm to reach the egg; the sperm’s ability to fertilize the egg when they meet; the ability of the fertilized egg (embryo) to become implanted in the woman’s uterus; and sufficient embryo quality. When just one of these factors is impaired, infertility can result.

Infertility is a disease of the reproductive system, and occurs equally in males and females. When a couple is unable to conceive, testing should be initiated after one year of trying with unprotected intercourse when the female is under 35 and six months of trying when the female is over 35. If a woman has irregular periods, than she should be evaluated as soon as she is ready to become pregnant.

The good news is nearly 90% of infertility cases are treatable with medication, surgery or assisted reproductive technologies, such as in vitro fertilization. It is critical for couples to consult with Infertility specialists who can determine the cause of their problems.  At that point, a plan can then be customized to fit their unique situation and move them along on the path to conceiving a child.

Infertility patients are dealing with such an emotionally charged medical issue, so it is important for couples to take time to learn about their options. They deserve an environment that fosters trust and mutual respect, where questions are welcome and encouraged. One of the most challenging aspects of the infertility experience is dealing with the emotional ups and downs relating to medical treatment, and the uncertainty about outcomes. Often, infertility patients get support from family and friends, but sometimes a support group, such as Resolve, the national infertility support group, or a psychologist trained in the stresses of infertility, may improve results. Alternative therapies, such as acupuncture and mind-body medicine, are showing benefit to patients as well.

The first step with your Doctor should be an infertility evaluation. The main concern during the evaluation is to only conduct the tests that will give the physician clues to the cause of infertility and ultimately lead to the development of an effective treatment plan. There are a number of tests that have traditionally been run as part of the initial work up but may be unnecessary in many cases, such as the diagnostic laparoscopy, post coital test and endometrial biopsy.

The evaluation will lead the physician to determine the cause of infertility.  These tests should include a full medical history and physical, a male infertility evaluation, hormone level evaluation, and HSG (hysterosalpingogram) test to rule out anatomic problems. Some common and very treatable diagnoses can include Ovulatory Disorders, PCOS, Male Factor, Tubal Factor, Recurrent Miscarriage and Endometriosis. As women wait longer to conceive, age may become a significant factor in all of these.

Once these steps are taken, many couples are on the way to family building success. Again, 85- 90% of infertility cases are treatable with drug therapy or surgical procedures and fewer than 5% need advanced reproductive technologies like IVF.  Of the women who seek medical intervention for infertility, approximately 65% give birth.

Dr. Carolyn Kaplan, Medical Director of in vitro fertilization with Georgia Reproductive Specialists, is board certified in Obstetrics/Gynecology and Reproductive Endocrinology.
Georgia Reproductive Specialists (GRS) GRS includes well-respected physicians and embryologists with over 50 years of combined experience in reproductive medicine and the treatment of infertility. Their team also includes highly trained nurses, counselors, financial advisors and laboratory technicians. GRS has three offices, Atlanta, Alpharetta and Decatur, to conveniently serve patients across Metro Atlanta. For more information, please visit us online at http://www.ivf.com.

Teens today face pressures like never before to buy, consume and run up debt. Kids are bombarded with advertisements for the latest gadgets and pressured to “keep up with the Joneses” by having the latest fashions and toys.

Technology has elevated buying-on-a-whim to an art form. Sitting at their computers or thumbing the keys on their smart phones, today’s teens can download or order a world of music, entertainment, games, books and services that either didn’t exist a decade ago or at least required the teen to leave the house to purchase.

The need to drive – or be driven – to a retail store sometimes created a sufficient buffer to quell a teen’s impulse to spend, or at least presented the prospect of giving mom and dad an opportunity to intervene. But no longer. These days, money in and money out is mostly electronic. Direct deposit, debit cards and online banking have each accelerated the pace of money – and accordingly, the speed at which our children must make the right or wrong financial choices. New services such as Google Wallet allow people to turn their phone into a wallet. This makes it even easier for teens to spend money, often without any concept of what that means.

Teens need to be given a clear, alternative vision to the “spend, spend, spend” mentality that surrounds them. Fortunately there are many things parents can do to teach their kids sound money management. The key is in helping kids understand the difference between a “need” and a “want.”

Here are some tips for parents to teach their teens about financial responsibility:

• Expose teens to your full family financial picture – including what you earn, what you spend, what you borrow, and how you invest and save. Hold regular “family night” discussions with the whole family during which you go over the family budget and review where the money is going.  You may wish to have them participate by writing checks, reconciling accounts and helping to set and monitor your family budget.

• Put your kids to work. To truly value money, teens need to earn their own income, whether through outside jobs, entrepreneurial ventures or by getting paid for family chores.

• Teach kids to save: I recommend the “40/30/20/10 Saving Rule:” 40 percent of their earnings can be used for spending, 30 percent should be set aside for short-term savings, 20 percent for long-term savings and 10 percent for donating. Teens who sort their money into these categories every week will develop responsible lifelong money-management skills.

• Don’t forget charity. Encourage your kids to set aside a regular portion of their earnings and income for a good cause, be it church or other worthy non-profits. Such gifting will be returned to them many times over in terms of the character it builds.

• Have fun with it. Talking to teens, and getting them interested in proper money management, need not be all spreadsheets and financial reports. Some parents use games such as the classic Monopoly and Robert Kiyosaki’s popular CASHFLOW 101 to broach the subject of money management. Teen-friendly movies, television programs, books and even songs, such as Gwen Stefani’s hit Rich Girl – “No man could test me, impress me, my cash flow would never end…” – can be a jumping off point to a meaningful conversation about dollars and good sense.

• Paint a vibrant picture of your adolescent’s fiscal future – one free from the money worries that envelop so many young adults and their parents. Help teens formulate their own vision of what a life of financial self-reliance and freedom will mean for them.

Teaching by example is absolutely critical. If you tell your kids one thing, but do another, they will catch on very quickly. Explain how there are things you’d like to buy that you decided to forego and why. And don’t be afraid to openly discuss the mistakes you’ve made and what you’ve learned from them.

Nothing builds a young person’s self-esteem faster than learning the lessons that can help them become financially independent for life. And the teenage years are the perfect time to teach kids the saving, spending, earning and investing habits they’ll require to enjoy a lifetime free of financial strain and worry.

As a consultant to financial advisors, Pamela Yellen investigated more than 450 savings and retirement planning strategies seeking an alternative to the risk and volatility of stocks and other investments. Her research led her to a time-tested, predictable method of growing and protecting savings now used by more than 400,000 Americans. Pamela’s book, “BANK ON YOURSELF: The Life-Changing Secret to Growing and Protecting Your Financial Future,” is a New York Times Bestseller. She has been featured on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, FOX, NPR and in The Huffington Post, Fortune Small Business and hundreds of other publications. Learn more at www.BankOnYourself.com and  www.BankOnYourselfNation.com, her new financial education site.

Today’s families are faced with many decisions that need to be made on a daily basis. What do we eat for dinner? Where do we send the children to school? Cat or dog? Knowledge is power, and camp is no exception. With literally thousands of unique camps nationwide, having critical information will help families determine which choice is best for their child.

Families should consider the following when choosing a camp experience this year:

• Philosophy and Program Emphasis — Each camp is unique, and provides unique programming and approaches. Families need to consider carefully whether or not the camp’s philosophy matches their own. Asking questions about learning approaches, how behavioral and disciplinary problems are addressed, and how adjustment issues are handled will give families a better understanding of the camp’s position.

• Training and Education — Don’t be shy about asking for the education and background of the camp director and staff. The American Camp Association recommends directors possess a bachelor’s degree, have completed in-service training within the past three years, and have at least sixteen weeks of camp administrative experience before assuming the responsibilities of director. At a minimum, camp staff should be trained in safety regulations, emergency procedures and communication, behavior management techniques, child abuse prevention, appropriate staff and camper behavior, and specific procedures for supervision. Families should ask about camper-to-staff ratios and supervision in cabins and for various activities, like swimming and athletics.

• Special Needs — For a child with special requirements, parents should ask the camp director about needed provisions and facilities. Ask questions about nursing staff, the storage of medicines, and special dietary needs. When talking to the camp director, it’s important to have a frank discussion about the realities of a child’s needs and the limitations of the camp.

• References — Parents shouldn’t be afraid to ask for references. This is generally one of the best ways to check a camp’s reputation and service record. Ask if the camp is accredited. If not, ask why.

• Involve the Camper — It’s crucial for families to involve the camper in decisions about camp, including what to pack. The more involved children are in the process, the more ownership they feel. This helps ease concerns about camp, and can ultimately help make a child’s camp experience more successful.

Ultimately, it is important for families to remember that they know their child best, and are best able to determine which camp experience is right. By visiting family resource sites, like www.CampParents.org, families have access to tips for planning a camp experience, expert advice, and research.

Contributed by American Camp Association
©2011 American Camp Association, Inc.

Many parents, and kids alike, have grand plans of taking a break from learning over the summer to recharge, but studies show that this is not a good idea. In fact, students can lose up to 15% of their academic ability over the summer if they don’t read, write, or practice math.

Here are the facts:

• Learning loss is inevitable when kids take the summer off from educational activities.

• 56% of kids want to build their education and get ready for the next grade by participating in summer programs.

• On average, teachers spend the first 4 to 6 weeks of a new school year re-teaching last year’s material due to summer learning loss.

Do Not Go Forward Without a Plan

• Reach out to your child’s teacher(s) before the school year ends for suggestions on books and activities for summer learning. If your child is weak in a particular subject, summer is a great time to fill in the learning gaps and boost confidence.

• Create a schedule and put it in writing. This is perhaps the most important thing you can do BEFORE summer starts. Sit down with your child and agree upon a daily time dedicated to practice (don’t call it homework!). For most kids, morning is best. Twenty to thirty minutes each day or three days per week is all you need.

• If you wait until late July or August to think about summer learning, your child will likely resist your attempts. When children know what to expect early on, they are more likely to comply.

• Sometimes, even the most efficient parents feel overwhelmed with two and a half months of unstructured time. Consider hiring a tutor and asking him or her to leave behind practice materials for your child. Many students work better when the teacher isn’t mom or dad.

Look for Non-Traditional Books

• For students who resist working from a workbook, consider an online reading program. Some favorites for younger children are studydog.com, headsprout.com, and literactive.com.

• For your tween or teen, consider purchasing an e-reader. Teens love electronics and are much more likely to read if they just need to flip the switch on their e-book. Moreover, once they finish with one book, the next book is at the tip of their fingers in their e-reader storefront. Read More

Of course, Father’s Day is a day to celebrate dads. We buy them gifts, cook them special meals, and tell them how much we love them. After all, dads deserve all of the special treatment and attention we can give them! However, Father’s Day isn’t just a day for us to make our dads feel like kings…it’s also a great time for fathers to relish the relationships they have with their kids! If that thought makes you squirm just a little bit because you know you probably aren’t in the running for “World’s Best Dad,” don’t worry. There’s no better time to hit the reset button on your parenting style.

If your overtime hours at work, your golfing hobby, or something else entirely has gotten in the way of your rapport with your kids, take a deep breath and let yourself off the hook. The truth is, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, and more to the point, you can start improving the relationship you have with your children right now. In fact, doing so may be a lot easier than you think!

Yes, being a parent can be tough, scary, frustrating, and time-consuming—but it’s also the single most worthwhile thing you’ll ever do. Working on becoming the best father you can be is the ultimate gift to you and your kids. You’ll all be happier, because when you invest in your kids, you’ll be rewarded tenfold through the joy your kids will give back to you. However, if you’re just going through the parenting motions without really putting your heart into being a dad, you’re missing out on this potentially untapped happiness.

If you’d like to make this Father’s Day a turning point in the quality of your relationship with your kids, then read on for seven tips:

Simply be present more of the time. Yes, we’re all very busy. (If anything, that’s a gross understatement.) However, allowing your job, the errands you need to run, or your golf game to take precedence over time spent with your kids is one of the biggest mistakes you can make as a parent. Simply being there, physically and emotionally, will make a huge difference in how your kids see you and relate to you.

Parenting is truly rooted in the day-to-day instead of in the ‘big’ events like recitals and ceremonies. You can’t script or schedule the vast majority of life—you need to be there to catch the special, opportune moments. While earning money is important and bringing home gifts from business trips is nice, throwing a baseball in the front yard or simply watching a movie while sharing popcorn on the couch is always more special!

Plug in—emotionally. It’s something we’ve all done: Your body is engaged in playing Monopoly with your children, but your mind is trying to figure out how much money will be left after all of the bills are paid, and when you’ll be able to take the car into the shop. Yes, you’re off to a good parenting start, but don’t be fooled: Being there in body is not enough. You’ve also got to give kids the first fruits of your thoughts and feelings if you really want to make a connection.

Kids are smarter than we often want to admit—they know when your mind is elsewhere, even if they have no idea that you’re specifically thinking about business or how to improve your golf swing. If this happens consistently, they’ll begin to feel less important, and your relationship will suffer. When you’re with your children, all of you needs to be there. Also, don’t be afraid to let go emotionally with your kids, especially in public. Wouldn’t it be great to be known as the person who cheers the loudest and greatest at your daughter’s ballgames, or simply as the most fun dad in town?

Let your kids be themselves. Variations on this theme happen all the time: A dad insists that his son needs to stick with football because he has so many fond memories of being on the high school team himself…never mind that his son would much rather be marching in the band. Yes, when we try to dictate who our kids become we often have the best of intentions at heart, but we fail to realize that we’re doing those kids a big disservice. As a father, make a genuine effort to discover who your kids really are and commit to supporting them on their paths.

Always love your kids for who they are. You’ve had the first portion of your life; now it’s their turn. And trust me—your kids will be happy adults only if they too learn to love and be okay with themselves as they are and for who they are. So, I’m sorry if you wanted your son to follow in your footsteps and be a star athlete. If he prefers the arts, you’d better love him for that just as well, and be cheering loudly at all of his concerts. Read More

Father’s Day is almost here, and dads across the country will soon be celebrated by their families with cookouts, cards, and gifts ranging from homemade artwork to the classic choice: a new tie. As we enjoy the festivities, though, it’s good to take a few moments to reflect on why we’re celebrating in the first place. To put it simply, our fathers are instrumental in shaping our lives—and they deserve our recognition and thanks for their guidance and love!

It’s easy to take family members for granted, so it’s especially important that children of all ages remind themselves of what makes their fathers great. When you look back on your dad’s influence, you’ll probably be reminded of some tried-and-true truths he passed on to you that are still leading you in a positive direction to this day.

While every dad is different, there are certain pieces of wisdom that most patriarchs, along with other father figures, tend to share with their children. These “pocket truths” have stuck around and proliferated for a reason: They’ve withstood the test of time. And since that’s the case, they’re sure bets for current (and future!) fathers to pass on to the newest generation, too.

Dads can be crucial when it comes to establishing the fundamentals for success in their children’s lives. While some fathers may not express these things explicitly (by and large, moms tend to be more verbal about instruction), they teach us a lot by modeling good behaviors and attitudes.

If you’d like a refresher course on fatherly wisdom, or if you’d like some guidance regarding how to instruct your own kids, then read on for fourteen truths our dads taught us:

The first impression is made in the first 90 seconds. You may remember your father straightening his collar, squaring his shoulders, and putting on a smile before he entered a room. Chances are, he knew that each time you encounter a new person, he or she forms an opinion of you that’s surprisingly difficult to change as time goes by. So don’t underestimate the value of a well-groomed appearance, a firm handshake, a friendly smile, and a genuine demeanor—they’ll help you start relationships off on the right foot every time.

Dress the part. Younger people have gotten a bad rap for regularly wearing pajamas and sweat pants in public—but the fact is, our society as a whole has gotten into a casual routine, and we’ve moved away from dressing our best. (With the exception of many dads who scrupulously tuck in their shirts each day regardless of what activities are on the docket!) Yes, it’s important to express yourself and to be fairly comfortable, but so is wearing appropriate clothing. When you dress as though you’re already in the position you’d like to have, you’re one step closer to being there.

Be the plow horse, not the show horse. As kids, many of us wondered how our fathers were able to put up with doing the same job every day, especially since they didn’t get gold stars on their report cards and rewards for acing tests! We eventually learned what our dads already knew: It’s better to focus on doing diligent, reliable, honest work, not on receiving accolades. If you put in the hours and truly earn the respect you want, your time in the spotlight will last longer and will be much more fulfilling.

Cheaper isn’t always better. Many of us have felt a financial pinch on and off throughout the years, and yes, there are times when it’s fine—even smart—to get by with a secondhand kitchen table. However, realize that, if there’s any way you can afford it, there are some things that are worth the money. For example, a quality suit that fits will look better and last longer. (Ask your dad how long he’s owned his.) And eating frozen dinners or ramen noodles for every meal might not cost much—but your body will perform much better on a healthy diet.

Be humble. In our reality-show culture, it’s not surprising that people are more than eager to toot their own horns, especially if they think it will win them recognition or a spot in the limelight. So when you let your actions and character speak for themselves, people notice. The truth is, humility doesn’t mean being a meek, weak pushover…it just means you’re not a showboat. When you let humility govern your decisions and actions, you’ll be vulnerable in a good way—others will feel comfortable approaching you and connecting with you.

Own great suits and learn to tie a good knot. If your job doesn’t require you to dress up every day, you’ll still need a classy, good-quality suit to wear to interviews and various formal events. (And guys, make sure you can tie a tie well…sloppy knots and clip-ons won’t do you any favors. If this is a skill you haven’t learned from a father figure yet, get on it!) While inner character is important, never forget that what people see forms a large part of their opinion of you. Plus, when you wear clothes that you know look great, you’ll feel and act more confident.

Do not burn bridges. Do you remember your father ever walking away from a fraught situation when you thought nasty words, insults, or even fists might have been more appropriate? If so, you can bet Dad knew that when a word is spoken in anger, frustration, or even disgust, it might come back to haunt you. Remember that people change, and realize that treating everyone with respect, in spite of negative circumstances, will give you a reputation for fairness and integrity. Read More

Emma’s Father’s Day card starts out this way: I love you, Daddy–a lot. Now that sixth grade is done, I’ve found out by being around other kids that you’re really awesome. Here are a couple things I really like about you.

1. I have so much fun when you take time to hang out with me. You know how we spend time together every month, just you and me doing something together for a morning. I really liked it last month how you helped me buy an outfit for our summer trip to Grannie’s house. How you thought that pink blouse looked just great, and you said you’ve never seen anyone so beautiful. And I really like the 15 minutes you take with me alone after dinner to just hear about my day. If it’s boring to you, you don’t act like it. Could we do it twice a week, maybe? Oh, yeah, I almost forgot our summer vacation time as a family. I can’t wait to find out where we’re going together. (Can you give me a little hint?)

2. I like it that you listen when I mess up and you don’t yell at me (very much). You know how last month I got into the habit of not doing my homework and you caught me lying a bunch. You listened to me a lot before you grounded me for the weekend. I felt so bad, but it was easier to tell the truth ’cause you listened a lot and didn’t get too mad. Even though I didn’t look like it, I really felt relieved to get it all out and have you check to see if my homework is done, and then checking the school website to make sure I turned it in.

Do you think I’ll find a boyfriend like you? Hope so. Love you! E

Jared’s Father’s Day card reads this way: Hey, Dad, can’t believe I’ll be a senior next year. Actually, I’ve got mixed feelings about graduating and going to college. Even though I think it’ll be great to be on my own, I think I’ll miss the times with you. I guess it’s a little mushy, but here goes with what I’ve been thinking now that I have to write a Father’s Day card (you know how Mom is).

1. The big thing is how you handled my running into that fencepost during that ice storm the night you let me borrow your new pickup. I was totally dreading having to face you when you came to pick me up. But you really weren’t that mad. You said, ‘Hey, this could happen to anyone. The weather was fine when you left home. We couldn’t have known how bad it would get.” You don’t know how hard it was to hold back the tears when you hugged me. It’s weird. You always start out talking when there’s a problem like “Tell me what you’re feeling.” You are strict and really, Dad, you don’t let me get by with much. I used to hate it, ’cause my friends’ dads aren’t that strict. But, I guess it’s helped me. Seems like adults like me. That’s cool.

2. One more thing. You know how Rachael and me have been dating for a year. Even though I was really embarrassed, the talk you had with me about romantic stuff (you know what I mean) helped me a lot to make some good decisions about that private stuff.

3. Yeah, one last thing. Thanks for always being there for me. I can’t wait for our semiannual guys-alone backpacking trip. You’re a cool dude, Dad. Love J

Dad’s take-home lesson: You’re really important, way more important than you think you are. Thanks for being a great dad to your kids.

Gary M. Unruh, MSW LCSW, is a child and family mental health counselor with nearly forty years of experience. He is the author of the award-winning book “Unleashing the Power of Parental Love: 4 Steps to Raising Joyful and Self-Confident Kids” (www.unleashingparentallove.com).