Today's Parent | Parenting Resources… Articles, Advice, Help & Tips

It’s right around the corner: that special day once a year when we celebrate moms. And if you’re scrambling for some last-minute gift ideas, or just holding out hope that your husband actually remembers this year, consider this: Perhaps the best gift you’ll receive this year isn’t going to come in a package, and it may just come from the person you least expect—yourself.

Flowers, cards, and breakfast in bed are great, but at the end of the day, what mothers really want is to feel a real, deep, and lasting emotional bond with their kids. They want the great relationship every single (ordinary) day, not the big show of affection that comes around only once a year.

While the concept of having a deep, emotional connection may seem like a daunting task, it’s not only possible for moms to make that crucial connection with their kids, it’s actually not as complicated as you may think. There are simple changes that any parent can make that will work wonders for creating the bond with her child that she desires. And once those small changes become habits, they will come naturally to her, all the time.

There are seven simple ways that you can work toward building a deep, emotional bond with your kids, so that every day can feel like Mother’s Day. From playtime to down time, read on for how YOU can get connected right now:

Make time for playtime. One of the best ways that parents can connect with their children is through play. Not only does play release energy and provide opportunities to be involved in a child’s world, it is also how children process their inner feelings and work out their little-kid real-life issues. Parents who take the time to play with their children strengthen their understanding of their children’s emotional world. And while you may feel like you are being present for playtime while your toddler plays at your feet (and you do the dishes), in order to make a real and lasting connection, you have to (literally) get down on his level.

True emotional connections are made when parents get down on the floor and play with their kids. Drink imaginary tea, build the Lego castle, and piece together those puzzles. Your bond with your child will be all the better for it.

Plug in…emotionally. Children can experience a wide range of emotions each day (or even each hour, for that matter!), from happy to sad, frustrated to triumphant—what may seem to us a trivial moment can be a big deal for them. Parents have to make the effort to “plug in” to what their children are feeling. Understanding what they are feeling and why can create a bond between you that is unparalleled.

Plugging in to the emotions that your child is experiencing and being present with her through each new feeling can help the two of you to deepen your emotional bond with one another. It takes patience, time, and at times, a lot of effort, but the bond you build is totally worth it.

Build in a few extra minutes to your day. Whether you are rushing out the door for school in the morning, loading up for big brother’s baseball practice, or just heading out to run errands with kids in tow, building in a few minutes can make transitions much less painful for both you and your children and can provide crucial opportunities for bonding.

If you can make it into the car without a screaming fight, then you have a great opportunity to spend those extra 10 or 15 minutes really talking with your kids. Dissect their days, talk through any emotions or feelings they may be experiencing—like the way they felt when they accomplished something super fun at preschool, or if they are sad because their goldfish died. Or use the time as an opportunity to turn up some tunes and sing out loud together—letting go and being silly with your kids is a great way to bond emotionally.

Fess up when you slip up. Nobody’s perfect—and as parents it’s a given that we will make mistakes as we learn and grow alongside of our kids. It’s important to remember that in addition to teaching our children, we are also serving as their constant role models. By labeling and talking about emotions, she says, your child learns that emotions are manageable, and he will feel comfortable expressing them in an appropriate manner. And that includes admitting when you’re wrong and saying that you’re sorry.

When ‘fessing up,’ be specific, identify the behaviors for which you are apologizing, and share the feelings you were experiencing at the time and how you felt afterwards. Your mistakes and shortcomings can serve as a wonderful opportunity for you to be a good role model. Fessing up means that you genuinely apologize to your child for making a mistake—the goal is to catch yourself and repair the connection with your child. And in the end, you’ll teach him the valuable lesson that it’s all right not to be perfect. Read More

We are constantly barraged with information about camps – from magazines and emails, to headline news and parents talking on the sidelines at little league. Sometimes it’s hard to separate fact from fiction. You will want to know what’s true and what’s not as you answer the all-important question, “What will I do with my kids next summer?” To help guide you, I’ve compiled a list of myths vs. facts about camps.

Myth: “Overnight camp is only for the rich.”

Fact:  The truth is that there is a camp out there to fit every budget. And, if you plan ahead, you can take advantage of early enrollment discounts and financial aid. Applying early, it is possible to get a 20-50% discount off of camp tuition, based on need. Private camps tend to be more expensive, so contact camps run by your local county government or agencies like the Campfire Boys and Girls, the Jewish Federation, Boys Scouts and Girl Scouts, the Jewish Community Center, and the Salvation Army. Lastly, inquire about shorter sessions and discounts for multiple children from one family.

Myth: “Only I know what is best for my child.”

Fact: It is tempting for us (especially if we are former campers) to re-create our own camp experience for our child. While the saying “Mother knows best” is true in most circumstances, some input from your child is the best approach when choosing a camp. Involving the child in the camp research may produce unexpected results. Maybe you think an all boys camp is the best place for your son, but he may want the opportunity to make friends with girls in a relaxed setting. You may think your daughter wants to be at a camp that specializes in art and drama because that is what she enjoys, but maybe she wants to improve her tennis game this summer. Ask your child: do you want to build on your existing strengths and interests this summer or try something new? Be open to the unexpected!

Myth: “If I send my child to camp with a friend, it will make her more comfortable.”

Fact: What outwardly seems to provide a safety net has its pitfalls. A friend can sometimes act as a barrier to your child’s making new friends. All too often, one of the campers has a difficult time. The other child then feels responsible for the friend, which can be extremely burdensome. In addition, your child may choose his activities based upon his friends’ interests, rather than his own. It is important to weigh the comfort of going with a friend with the possible drawbacks. If going with a friend is the only way your child will try camp, it might be worth it. Just prepare your child with possible scenarios and provide him with the problem-solving strategies.

Myth: “A specialty camp – rather than a traditional camp – is the best place for my child.”

Fact: Specialty sports camps focus on teaching technical skills, not necessarily life skills. A child goes to this type of program to work on the skills for one sport (or for the art form, or for drama, etc.), rather than to be part of a community found in a traditional camp. Parents should not make the mistake of thinking a specialty camp will necessarily provide counselors to take care of a homesick child. The coaches and instructors are there to teach skills, not to help your child to make a friend. Therefore, I usually recommend younger kids attend these programs with a friend. Read More

Parties are the spice of life – a time to gather with friends, laugh, talk, play games and enjoy one another’s company. Still, there are some rules of etiquette when it comes to hosting or attending a party that you need to be aware of. Here are some tips for handling common party concerns to make sure you and your child are invited back!

How do I handle guests who haven’t RSVP’d?

While most guests understand the importance of RSVP’ing, some just aren’t timely with their replies. As the party grows closer, feel free to call those who haven’t responded and ask if they plan to come. You can start the call by saying, “I just wanted to make sure you got the invitation,” which often softens the tone of the conversation and elicits a non-defensive reply.

How much should I spend on the gift?

The idea behind the gift is to show your friend that you care. Consider your budget, and then try to find something fitting within range. A gift that shows creativity makes it even more special than simply buying something expensive.

Are thank you notes still expected?

In this day of digital correspondence, many people send thank you e-mails rather than cards. That’s why sending a hand-written, personalized card via snail mail is so appreciated today. It shows that you took the time to let the host or guest know you really enjoyed the gift or the party. And it’s a great habit to get your children to adapt.

Do I have to invite all of my child’s friends to the birthday party?

No, that could lead to chaos! But be careful when sending invitations so there aren’t hurt feelings among those who aren’t included. It’s best to keep the number of guests to a minimum to maintain control over the party. For preschoolers, try two to five guests, for school-age children, try five to 10 guests, and for older kids, try to keep the number under a dozen. Read More

There are recent reports concerning whether teen Facebook users experience an increase in depression. Researchers disagree whether this is a new type of depression or an extension of existing forms of depression. Teens with low self-esteem, school stress and family stress are vulnerable to depressions. The number of friends they have on Facebook, their status — as well as the status of their friends, and the constantly updated photos may add to a teen feeling self critical and not “popular” enough. It can also add to feeling ostracized, bullied, or teased.

Social networks help teens feel more connected. Social networks have become the place teens “hang out.” However, if that teen does not feel like they measure up to other teens, it can become a world of loneliness and a constant reminder of perceived shortcomings. In extreme cases, suicide notes have been posted on Facebook, which demonstrate the powerful connection teens feel toward their virtual and real friends. Social networks offer teens a skewed view of the real world and they don’t have the brain development to understand this is not the real world.

If the teen’s family is not engaged with the teen, the social network takes on a much more potent place in the teen’s world. In fact, it may become the child’s only world. Pediatricians are now encouraging parent’s to talk with their kids about being online and how to recognize depression caused by social media, cyber bullying, sexting and other online risks.

Ten signs your teen may be depressed:

1. Loss of interest in activities, hobbies and other things they used to be very interested in.

2. More isolated — never see them with their friends anymore.

3. Sleeping all the time or up in the middle of the night because they cannot sleep.

4. A loss or increase in appetite.

5. Notable weight loss or gain.

6. Lethargic or flat mood.

7. More irritable or easily frustrated.

8. A downward trend in grades.

9. Not wanting to go to school.

10. Weepy, labile moods.

If you see any of these signs with your teen and they last more than two weeks, it is time to talk to your teen and make an appointment with your pediatrician for an evaluation of depression. Depression is insidious and many times teens won’t know they are depressed until the depression lifts. Depression can kill, but it is also curable.

Signs your child may be the victim of cyber bullying:

Please note many of these signs mimic signs of depression. Parents should intervene right away when they see the below signs. Waiting two weeks may be too long.

1. Hesitant to be online; nervous when an instant message, text message or e-mail appears.

2. Visibly upset after using the computer or cell phone, or suddenly avoids it.

3. Hides or clears the computer screen, or closes their cellphone when you enter the room.

4. Spends unusual and/or longer hours online in a more tense pensive tone.

5. Withdraws from friends, falls behind in schoolwork or wants to avoid school.

6. Suddenly sullen, evasive, or withdrawn in personality or behavior.

7. Trouble sleeping, loss of appetite, excessively moody or crying.

8. Suspicious phone calls, e-mails and packages arrive at your home.

9. Possible drop in academic performance.

As parents, sometimes we need subtle ways to talk to our kids about social media. It is important to keep the lines of communication open and talk often to our kids about the dangers and the benefits of social media and other electronic communication. Read More

Oh the sweet anticipation…

The end of the school year is arriving fast and summer vacations are around the corner. As a mom with four kids aged 7 to 13, I approach summer trips with trepidation. We save money all year and make sacrifices to ensure a summer trip is possible. We carve out precious “days off” from work and align everyone’s schedules, never an easy task given camps, events, activities and family commitments. So the stakes are as high as the expectations.

Reality sets in… and the Disney Pep Talk

My husband and I, first and foremost, abide by the “Disney Pep Talk” rule. Several years ago, we were visiting my brother’s family in California. They also have four children roughly the same age as ours, so there is always lots of excitement when we get together. The night before we embarked on a Disneyland adventure, we received the equivalent of a pep talk from my brother as our elated children busily planned out departure times, the order of the rides and the foods they would eat, all in squealing, happy voices. Dan said, “Watch the families tomorrow. They have saved endlessly and looked forward to this trip to Disney FOREVER. But watch, inevitably many parents get stressed and yell at their kids. And this is at Disney which is probably the most fun place in the world.” From there, my husband and I started discussing a critical parenting question: “Why do kids, at times during every vacation, refuse to have fun or be fun? Or is it us and our approach?”

Sure enough, the next day at Disney, we saw children weeping in long lines with sweaty, sunburned faces. We saw disappointed parents watching children dropping or wasting their expensive food. We saw tired, writhing kids who could not be convinced to go on a certain ride with the parents yelling, “How can you not want to go on this? It’s why we are here!” We saw other parents shout, “We are on vacation at Disney. You should be having a great time and instead you’re complaining.” And, several parents were observed getting infuriated when their little one announced 45 minutes into a wait that he/she had to go the bathroom and could not hold it any longer. So, my husband and I decided to create some strategies to enjoy vacation moments because our kids, like most kids, can act ungrateful and refuse to have fun in the most wonderful places.

We now have “Disney Pep Talk” before every vacation and use the tips below.

Seven strategies for traveling families–

1) Don’t expect kids to be grateful for all the sacrifices it takes to go on a trip. They are not going to thank you profusely or behave wonderfully. Instead, watch for the moment of wonder or the “pure joy” smile – these “moments” are what make the trip happy and memorable. Photograph these moments and they are all you will remember later.

2) Leave a little flexibility in the schedule. Most kids are not naturally continuous “do-ers” on a vacation. If you have an agenda packed end to end with activities, the kids will start complaining and wish to stay somewhere and just hang out. Think of your kids sweating in Washington DC, hiking from monument to monument in the blistering heat and waiting in the sun at the spy museum. All good ideas but some down time is needed for them to retain their trip enthusiasm. Read More

If you had to conjure an image of a summer academic program — where kids actually choose to learn in the summer – you might think of a group of sedentary, pale, non-athletic kids who would rather be in the library than in a lake.  Well, the idea I had before I visited several academic programs this summer was not too dissimilar.  But, I was wrong!  I saw vibrant places of experiential learning where young minds were nourished and young bodies challenged with unusual offerings.

Typically, the kind of child who would seek out an academic program in the summer is a little more cerebral than most and may not like the idea of sleeping in a bunk or perfecting their outdoor living skills.  Parents should know, however, that there are options for kids, outside of traditional camping experiences.

Enrichment programs. For many years, there have been pre-college programs for high school kids, but more recently there has been a rise in enrichment programs for younger kids.  Starting in 4th grade, a child could spend 1 – 6 weeks in an enrichment program where they would live at a boarding school or college campus in a dorm room, eat in a community dining hall, take classes of special interest, participate in recreational activities and take part in organized field trips.

You might think that such cerebral kids might need a break from academics for the summer.  However, the program directors will tell you that the type of “academics” the kids are exposed to in an enrichment program is far different:  how often does an AP track kid get to take dream interpretation or African drumming?  These programs can give kids a break from the pressure cooker of competitive school environments and allow them to find a passion.  I observed an improvisation class where kids were totally immersed in their silent acting.  Perhaps, for some, a summer program surrounded by like-minded kids might be a welcome change from their year-round environment.  I heard the story of a young man getting up in front of hundreds of kids to “perform” a complicated algebra problem at the end-of-session talent show to the delight and applause of his peers.

Kids tend to be over-structured during the year, so these types of programs relish in the ordinary, like capture the flag or a game of Risk.  So often, today, kids do not have the neighborhood peer group to strike up a game of capture the flag or, in some urban areas, they do not have the green space.  In this type of residential living, there is always a peer group for a board game or group pick-up game. Read More

As Easter approaches, hearts and minds naturally turn toward springtime and all that it entails. During this welcome season, many of us feel the impulse to give colorful Easter baskets brimming with surprises. Too often, one such surprise is a velvet-eared live baby bunny, adorably nestled among green plastic grass and pastel chocolate eggs. While it is often tempting to give these cuddly little creatures at Easter, a rabbit should never be thought of as a holiday decoration. Although a bunny can be a wonderful companion, it’s important that a responsible adult provides loving care for the lifespan of the rabbit—generally a commitment of eight to twelve years.

Baby bunnies naturally pull on our heartstrings, but they are a terrible impulse purchase. A large percentage of rabbits purchased for Easter end up abandoned or euthanized before the year is over.

One thing individuals may not realize is that a rabbit can be easily injured or disabled due to improper handling, and often the end result is euthanasia. In addition, discarded bunnies overrun the animal shelters after the holiday, and most are euthanized due to space constraints and other factors.

In other cases, unwanted rabbits are released into a field or woods by people who assume the creatures can live alongside their wild cousins. This mistaken belief results in certain death for domesticated rabbits since selective breeding has modified traits necessary for survival in nature. Rabbits that are kept are often relegated to cramped outdoor hutches, where they languish alone and largely forgotten.

Of great concern is the message children receive when they observe an adult treating an animal casually or thoughtlessly. If we want children to grow into compassionate citizens, modeling respect and care for our animal companions is an important step in that direction.

Before getting a rabbit, it’s essential to become educated about the animal’s nature and needs. These gentle creatures are sensitive and highly social, but their diet and some of their instinctive behaviors—such as chewing and digging—require awareness and planning. Rabbits need oversight and care by a mature adult; it’s not appropriate to put that responsibility on a child.

While rabbits can make wonderful companions, it’s important that potential pet “parents” know what to expect before adoption or purchase and how to provide proper care. Here are some guidelines to consider before welcoming a rabbit into your home:

Responsibility begins before choosing a pet. From the start, do thorough research, including diet, behavior, bunny-proofing, and proximity to an appropriate vet. Gather information from rabbit rescue groups, knowledgeable vets, reputable websites, and books on house rabbits.

Rabbits and small children are generally a mismatch. Because rabbits look so kid-sized, it is often assumed that children and bunnies will be a good combination. This is not the reality. Children’s time with bunnies must be closely supervised. Rabbits are vulnerable to stress, injury, and illness when mishandled, fed inappropriate foods, teased, or harassed in any way. Even gentle children can accidently hug a bunny too hard.

Handle with care! Though most baby bunnies tolerate being cuddled, their natural fear of being held off the ground usually becomes evident when the bunny enters adolescence (at approximately three-and-a-half months of age). When scared, rabbits are likely to kick and struggle. Most children are not strong enough to hold them, and being dropped can cause injuries such as fractured vertebrae or a damaged spinal cord. Generally, rabbits are more comfortable when handled on the floor.

Most rabbits go through a personality change. Baby bunnies are definitely adorable, but when they enter adolescence, the once-amiable creatures begin to display a strong will, a desire for independence, and an inborn need to chew and dig. As prey animals, they may sometimes instinctively run away in an attempt to protect themselves. Becoming a rabbit’s trusted friend requires quality interaction on a regular basis, and it is well worth the time and effort!

It’s important to read the signs. Rabbits may sometimes express their fears and dislikes by nipping or biting. In addition, those who are not neutered may become grouchy or aggressive. When rabbits start to act out in this way, many people punish the animals or simply avoid them. It’s important to realize that rabbits use these actions to communicate their needs—and fears—to the household.

Pet care requires chores. Children, especially, tend to lose interest after the novelty of having a new pet wears off, and their follow-through on chores often breaks down. When a bunny is adopted or purchased, a mature adult needs to assume complete responsibility for the companion animal. This includes, among other things, feeding, grooming, and vet care. Mindfully performing each task sets a good example for children. Read More

If you’re like most parents, the welcome rise in temperatures has reminded you that school will be out in no time. And that realization has probably galvanized you into signing your children up for summer sports, classes, camps, and more to fill up their out-of-school schedules. However, if you have a bedwetter in the family, things are considerably more complicated. Sleep-away camps, sleepovers, and even some vacations present major obstacles…or may be out of the question entirely.

Before you and your child resign yourselves to a summer of daytime-only activities, here is some welcome advice: Now is actually the perfect time to start working on bedwetting so that you can experience some dry nights by summer!

Many parents think that bedwetting is something that can’t be controlled and that their child will just have to grow out of it—or they blame themselves or their child for the recurring problem. And because many parents don’t talk to their children’s pediatrician about bedwetting, they don’t realize that all of those assumptions are false.

Bedwetting is not a sign of poor parenting or of a lazy child since it is not done consciously. Actually, nearly one in twenty children under the age of ten wet their beds, so you’re not alone in living with this often-frustrating condition.

To put bedwetting into perspective, depending on their child’s age, bedwetting is as or more common than ADHD.

It’s true. According to a 2007 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 6.6 percent of children from ages four to ten are diagnosed with ADHD. Compare that to 13 percent of six-year-olds who wet the bed, which decreases to 8 percent of eight-year-olds, and 5 percent of ten-year-olds.

The good news is, you can start treating bedwetting and potentially decrease how long it lasts by years. Through a series of easy-to-tackle steps and with the help of a bedwetting alarm, you can work with your child to achieve dry nights in as little as ten weeks. So if you start now, you’ll both be able to rest easy when it comes time for summer camp…and all year through.

Read on to learn about some of the bedwetting best practices developed over the years:

Make your job easier now. As you ease into the steps that will help your child stop bedwetting, do what you can to make nights, mornings, and cleanups as easy as possible on yourself and on your child. If you aren’t already doing so, decrease your workload by using disposable pants, waterproof pads, vinyl mattress covers, etc.

In addition to buying products that make life just a little bit easier, you can also get into some helpful habits. For example, you may occasionally wake your child and take her to the bathroom before you go to bed—especially if her pull-ups tend to leak, or if you have houseguests who may be disturbed by midnight cleanups. This might not ensure dryness, but it will be one less urination in bed! Also, place a clean pair of pajamas and underwear by your child’s bed to make middle-of-the-night cleanups easier.

Get the whole family on board. This isn’t just your child’s challenge to overcome—he’ll need your continued help, support, and encouragement. Keep in mind that you’ll be waking up during the night as your child learns to establish a nighttime routine, as well as helping him get used to any alarms he might use and monitoring his food and liquid intakes before bed.

Committing as a family to getting over bedwetting is crucial. In addition to making sure that you—the child’s parent or guardian—are on board, it’s also a good idea to make sure that siblings know what’s going on (and not to discuss it with their friends or to tease), and to enlist grandparents, or perhaps an aunt and uncle, to help with ‘practice’ sleepovers.

Establish a bedtime routine. Some children are more likely to experience a pattern of dryness when they have a regular nightly routine. To the extent that it’s possible, try to start working toward dryness at a time when no disruptive events such as holidays, vacations, moves, the birth of a sibling, etc. are on the horizon.

Eat dinner at the same time each night and drink only water afterwards. Don’t restrict fluids entirely; just stay away from soda and sugary drinks! Children should also urinate twice before bedtime and be involved in any pre-bed rituals such as placing extra pajamas near the bed and attaching the bedwetting alarm.

Refrain from punishment. It is crucial to realize that kids do not wet their beds voluntarily. Bedwetting can be caused by a multitude of factors, including genetics, small functional bladder capacity, food sensitivities, high nighttime urine production, and even constipation—but a wet spot in the morning is not a result of your child being too “lazy” to get out of bed. For this reason, punishing a child for bedwetting is ineffectual, and potentially harmful.

Children very, very rarely wet their beds on purpose. In fact, most feel frustrated, embarrassed, and upset when they wake up to wet sheets. Punishing your child for not having a dry night will only compound these feelings and hurt his self-esteem. Being encouraging and supportive is always the route to go! Read More

It’s amazing that we’re (usually) diligent about changing our oil to make sure our car runs smoothly; visiting the doctor for annual check-ups; and attending to other preventive maintenance activities on assorted things. But the most important part of our life – family, house, kids – can unravel quickly in piles of “to do’s,” “should’ve dones,” and more – if we don’t have good systems in place for staying organized and systematic in how we approach daily tasks.

We can take the ‘spring cleaning’ cliché a step further this year, by applying that same enthusiasm and fervor to our family, house, kids this year. Of course, that doesn’t mean spraying Windex on junior! We all know that an oil change helps our car run more smoothly. Imagine the benefit of investing in a family/house/kids tune-up by applying some simple principles to organizing our life.

The key benefit is that Mom’s (& Dad’s) “energy deficit” at the end of each day can dramatically decrease and make them feel more confident, satisfied, and “uncluttered.”

Teamwork is Key

Too often, it’s easier to do the job ourselves than to engage the help of others. We promote teamwork through sports, put our kids in uniforms to celebrate the “membership” with their peers, but too often we forget to implement teamwork at home. Consider a “team” meeting where the family sets aside a certain time each week to put together a game plan. After dinner, put on some fun music, and tell everyone it’s a clean-up party until the job is done.

Make Chores Work

“What a Chore to Make Chores Work” says just that. It does take some work to set up a chore system, but the paybacks are endless. Give chores creative titles to increase compliance and enthusiasm with the kids. For example, the “electrician” turns off the lights; the “Assistant Chef” helps at mealtime. It takes a little bit of effort to set up a chores system, but imagine the relief when half of your “to do list” is being done by others! Plus, you’re helping your children not only develop a work ethic early on, but you’re showing them a healthy dynamic in a family where everyone makes a valuable and necessary contribution.

Post Responsibilities, and Vary the Tasks

Post a chore chart, especially when kids are young, so they see what is expected of them. Think about age-appropriate jobs for everyone in the house, and consider varying the tasks every so often to prevent ‘chore fatigue. Kids can help at any age; little ones can sort laundry; big kids can DO laundry. Guaranteed, our kids’ electronic games and consoles are more complicated than a washer/dryer, but we’re hesitant to get them to help, or we’re tired of asking over and over again. Just do it! You’ll be glad you did, and your kids will feel satisfaction after a job well done.

You can use a write on/wipe off chart where kids can check off completed jobs, or any system that works for your family. Read More

Have you taken all the necessary steps to prepare for a home emergency or disaster? How well we prepare ourselves to deal with all types of emergency situations will determine our success in managing them.

Here is my list of 10 Must-Have Home Safety and Security Items:

1. Smoke Alarms. Install alarms on every level of your home and in every sleeping area. Change batteries once every year; test them monthly; replace the units every 10 years. Smoke alarms can cut your family’s chances of dying in a fire by nearly half. Plan escape routes and conduct fire drills with the entire family. Find two ways out of each room.

2. Battery-operated Carbon Monoxide alarms or plug-in CO alarms with battery back-up. Install a CO alarm in the hallway near the bedrooms in each separate sleeping area. In addition, place one at least 15 feet from any fuel-burning appliance. Remember, the proper installation, operation, and maintenance of all of fuel-burning appliances is the most important factor in reducing the risk of CO poisoning.

Important note: If your family uses a portable generator, be aware that most of the deaths and injuries associated with portable generators are from CO poisoning from generators used indoors or in partially enclosed spaces. Locate the portable generator outdoors and away from doors, windows, and vents that could allow CO to come indoors.

3. A fully stocked disaster supplies kit. Include nonperishable foods, water, prescription and necessary OTC medication, manual can opener, flashlights, radio, and batteries. (Buying Tip: Look for flashlights and radios powered by hand cranking so you don’t have to worry about depleted batteries when blackouts or emergencies hit.) Your kit should contain at a minimum, a 3-day supply. Store kit in easy to carry containers, like duffle bags. Include essential items for pets, too.

Note: Glow-in-the dark sticks work great, too. Kids love them and they provide a nonflammable, non-spark producing, portable light. However, it is NOT FOR USE BY Children Under age 5 Without Adult supervision.

4. NOAA weather radio. A National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration radio broadcasts national weather service warnings, forecasts and other hazard information 24 hours a day.

5. A fully stocked first aid kit. Include a first aid manual, non-latex gloves, and bandages of several sizes, antiseptic wipes, and sharp scissors. I highly recommend that adults and teens enroll in an infant/child first aid and CPR class.

6. Emergency Preparation Sheet. Post a list of emergency telephone numbers near every phone in your home. Include the National Poison Hotline (1-800-222-1222), Police, Pediatrician, Dentist, Family Doctor, and Fire Department. Also include the telephone number of a friend or relative living outside of the emergency area. (A caller is more likely to connect with a long-distance number outside the emergency area than with a local number within it.)

(You can download a free copy of my emergency preparation sheet at www.thesafetyexpert.com )

7. Hard-wired telephone. Regular phones that plug into a standard phone jack get their power from the phone company (which has emergency generators to power the telephone network), not from the power in your home. So if the power goes out, the phone will probably still work. Portable phones and cell phones are not reliable during a power outage and after major disasters.

In addition, carry a cell phone with you at all times.

8. Noncombustible escape ladder (for a multi level dwelling). Make sure it supports the heaviest person in the home. Become totally familiar with the manufacturer’s instructions on how to safely use the ladder. Practice climbing out from a ground floor window.

9. Multipurpose fire extinguishers. Install in the kitchen, basement and workshop area. Use the extinguisher for only small, confined fires. While you are extinguishing a small fire, have other family members exit the home and telephone the fire department.

10. Invest in a home security system. At the very least, install audible alarms or tones on the doors and windows, which let you know when someone enters or leaves your home. Be sure to check references of people who work for you.

Lastly, designate a room in your home that will be your safe room. Select a room without windows. A big closet or interior room would be ideal. A bathroom is a good choice. Choose a room with no outside walls or only one outside wall.

Debra Holtzman is an award-winning author and mom. In addition to practicing law, Debra has worked as a safety and health consultant and has inspected numerous plants and factories for hazardous working conditions and practices. She has been featured on NBC’s Today Show, Weekend Today, Dateline, ABC News and Discovery Health Channel and was named an “Everyday Hero” by Reader’s Digest. Her new book, ‘The Safe Baby: A Do-it-Yourself Guide to Home Safety and Healthy Living” (Sentient Publications, 2009) provides money savings tips and easy-to-implement solutions to provide a safe, healthy, and green-living lifestyle for children and pets. It also shows you how to get back to the basics of childrearing.

Debra also teaches infant and toddler safety and CPR at Memorial Regional Hospital and is a certified child passenger safety technician.  Visit her online at http://thesafetyexpert.com.