Today's Parent | Parenting Resources… Articles, Advice, Help & Tips

According to a survey by Lawyers.com, only 51% of Americans have an estate plan in place.  Are you one of the statistics? Have you ever considered who would take care of your minor children if something happened to you?

This question scares most parents because they do not know or have not put it in writing.  Unless you have an estate plan in place and have named a guardian for your minor children, a judge will make that decision for you. While courts often appoint a relative or family friend, the court is not required to do so.  The court can appoint anyone it determines to be in the “best interest” of the child.   Is this what you want?   If not, it is extremely important you have an estate plan and name someone to act as guardian of the person as well as the property.

Another scary thought is in Florida, guardianships terminate at age 18 and all funds held in the guardianship are distributed outright to the child then.  Would you want your 18-year old to inherit money?  Most 18-year olds I know are not mature enough to handle funds responsibly.  Thus, the best solution would be to name a guardian of the person in your will (to make living, school, medical decisions) and create a trust for your children (to handle any funds they will inherit). If the trust is prepared and funded properly, a guardianship of the property might be avoided altogether.  The added benefit is it allows you to pick the person who will control the finances for your children and allows you to determine when the funds will be distributed to them.  A trust of this nature is easy to create with proper planning.

What is estate planning and why is it so important?

Estate planning is the process of arranging for the disposal of your assets at your death and deciding who will handle your affairs.  Your estate plan will also name a guardian who will care for your minor children if both natural parents are deceased.  Depending upon the size of your estate, it may also include some tax planning to help defer or avoid estate tax.  Estate planning also encompasses arranging your affairs in case you become incapacitated. Documents that provide who will make health care and financial decisions for you should always be part of your estate plan. Read More

The new school year will be here soon, and parents are seeking the best back-to-school sources for supplies and clothes for their kids. But there are other ways to prepare your child for school — ways that can plant important seeds for their development and their success.

“The best way to prepare your child or teenager to return to school is to talk to them about expectations,” says Malcolm Gauld, president of Hyde Schools, a network of prep and charter schools in Maine, Connecticut, New York and Washington DC whose curriculum has been rooted in character education for more than 40 years.

“Get them fired up,” he says, “not only about their school work, but — and this may be even more important — their ATTITUDE toward their work, as well as their relationships.”

Malcolm and his wife, Laura Gauld, are the authors of “The Biggest Job We’ll Ever Have” book and parenting seminars that help parents connect to their role as their children’s greatest source of inspiration.

“Parents are busy taking care of so many things, it can be difficult to stay focused on our own attitude, let alone our kids’ attitude,” Laura says. “But it is imperative that we continue to set high expectations for them, and to remind them to have high expectations of themselves.” Read More

Did you know boys and girls don’t read equally?  That it can be so difficult to get boys to read that some have called it a crisis?  I sure didn’t.  To be fair, it’s not that I’m totally clueless, just mostly clueless.  After all, I tore through books like a swarm of locusts as a boy, and my son is an avid reader as well. So even when I left biotechnology to write a series of science fiction thrillers for kids, I never imagined there might be a huge reading gap between boys and girls.

Even when educators and reviewers began proclaiming that my books were great for boys, I had no idea. Had I realized at this point that I had inadvertently accomplished something important: that books, especially series, that appeal to this demographic fill a critical need, I would have happily embraced this label.  But instead I chafed against it. After all, I had received very positive feedback on the books from girls also (and even adults).  So why did some reviewers focus so intently on the boys, to the exclusion of all others?  Only gradually did I realize that they understood the books’ broad appeal—they just didn’t care.  Boys were the nut they wanted to crack.  After some key conversations with educators the truth finally invaded my impressively thick skull.  Now, I not only understood their viewpoint, I agreed with it entirely, and decided to make up for my previous cluelessness by becoming as much of an expert as I could on the subject. Read More

A year ago, many did not know what cyberbullying was. Today, parents all over the country are concerned about it, and want to know what to do to prevent it. Surveys indicate that around half of all children are victims of cyberbullies at some point during their time in school, and 11 percent of children have been bullied in the last 30 days. The Internet provides a free and anonymous tool for bullies to heap on the abuse.

“Our kids’ online lives can sometimes be a mystery to parents,” said Mary Kay Hoal, COO of Yoursphere.com, a positive place for kids online. “Whether it’s because they set up multiple profiles on social networking sites and hide them from their parents or because not every parent is technologically savvy enough to see what is going on, it’s important for every parent to know how to tell if their children are victims of cyberbullies, and how to prevent it and stop it in its tracks.”

Hoal has studied cyberbullying, talked to parents around the country whose kids have been bullied online, and uses unprecedented measures to keep cyberbullies off her Web site. Her tips for parents to protect their children and to spot signs if a parent suspects their child may be a victim of bullying include:

Check for withdrawn behavior — The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry suggests that children who are being bullied will act withdrawn, and may be reluctant to go to school or use the computer. Read More

Camp is a special time for children and youth. Through a positive camp experience campers develop self-esteem, ward off summer learning loss, and develop a sense of independence. For the families at home, communicating with their campers is a fun and exciting way to share in the camp experience. Follow these suggested do’s and don’ts for families to keep in touch with their happy camper:

• DO give your child pre-addressed, stamped envelopes or postcards so that he or she can keep you informed of camp activities.

• DO send a note or postcard in advance to the camp so there will be a personalized touch of home when your child arrives. This lets young campers know that the family is thinking about them, assures campers that parents know they are having a good time, and expresses enthusiasm for the camp’s activities.

• DO check with the camp director to see what the camp’s policies are regarding care packages. Be sure to ask what items may or may not be included. Also, consider sending your child to camp with photos or a favorite stuffed animal. Read More

Pregnancy certainly affects the lives of expectant moms and dads, but it doesn’t have to put a damper on your summer vacation plans.

Here are answers to some of the most commonly asked questions about traveling while pregnant that we hear from pregnant women every day.

Is it safe for me to travel while pregnant? Are all forms of transportation safe?

We don’t recommend hot air balloons or camels, but most conventional modes of transportation are safe. If you have a “high risk” pregnancy or are carrying multiples, your doctor may have a different restriction date in mind, so ask him or her for recommendations tailored to your specific health profile. Here are some general guidelines:

· You can travel by plane up to your 36th week — but check individual airline policies, which may vary.

· For cruises, the last acceptable time frame is 23-27 weeks, depending on the cruise line.

· If you are going by bus, train, or driving, stay no more than 1 hour away from a hospital. Camping in a remote area, for example, is not advisable. You can travel by car right up to the end of your delivery date, but try to stay an hour away from your doctor or delivery hospital.

How can I stay healthy while pregnant and traveling? Read More

Many families who are looking to expand their brood will turn to furry friends, which often become as much a member of the family as anyone else. So how do families decide if a pet is right for them, and if so, what type is best for your family?

For help in choosing a canine companion or other pet, follow the tips below to select the perfect fit for your family.

How Old Are the Members of My Family?

If the youngsters in your household are under seven years old, they are usually not developmentally suited for puppies 5 months old and under or toy-sized (under 15 pounds) dogs of any age. Puppies have ultra sharp “milk teeth” and toenails and often teethe on and scratch children, resulting in unintentional injury to the child. The puppy becomes something to be feared rather than loved.

Toy dogs are fine-boned, touch-sensitive creatures that do not weather rough or clumsy handling well. They break relatively easily and are quicker to bite than their larger boned, mellower relatives.

Unless your children are unusually sensitive, low-key, respectful individuals, a medium-to-large sized dog over 5 months old is usually the safer choice. Regardless of size, a responsible adult should monitor all interactions between small children and dogs. When there is no one to watch over them, they should be separated.

At the opposite end of the spectrum, are there frail elderly or physically challenged individuals in the household? If so, strong vigorous adolescent dogs are not a wise idea. No aging hips or wrists are safe from these yahoos. People who were one-breed fans throughout their lives may one day find that their favorite breed demands more than they can physically handle. The new dog must fit the current physical capabilities of his keepers with an eye toward what the next 10-15 years will bring.

Who Will Be the Dog’s Primary Caretaker?

A decade or so back, this was an easy question to answer– Mom. She stayed home and cooked, cleaned and raised the family dog. Most families these days do not have that option. All adults have to go to work and the kids head off to school. This leaves the family dog to be sandwiched in between lessons and sports and household chores and so on. One parent should be designated Primary Caretaker to make sure the dog does not get lost in the shuffle.

Some parents bow to the pressure their children put on them to get a dog. The kids promise with tears in their eyes that they will religiously take care of this soon-to-be best friend. The truth of the matter is, during the 10 – 15 year lifespan of the average dog, your children will be growing in and out of various life stages and the family dog’s importance in their lives will wax and wane like the Moon. You cannot saddle a child with total responsibility for the family dog and threaten to get rid of it if the child is not providing that care. It is not fair to child or dog. Read More

One challenge busy parents face is finding a sitter, but there are many safe, effective ways to find new sitters you can trust:

• Talk to your friends at work, school, church, etc. Ask your friends which babysitters they use and if they would mind sharing and making an introduction.  Also, ask your friends if any of their children have begun babysitting. It is easy to lose track of kids’ ages and before you know it, they’ve graduated from high school and are off to college (and you’ve potentially missed out on a great sitter).

• Join your local moms network. Many mom groups have sprouted all over the country and the best ones often focus on moms in your specific, local community. Your local moms network is an invaluable resource helping families, schools and the entire local community. Families in these networks often post messages or send e-mails looking for babysitters or informing the network that their teenager is available to babysit.

• Check out quality online resources. There are many websites that will find a local sitter for you, but not all sites are created equal. Evaluate the site thoroughly to find out what kind of security checks they provide and when the last check was completed on the individual of interest. Not all sites perform security and reference checks, presenting a major safety issue. Once you find a candidate, have your own interview, security check and reference follow-up. It may feel awkward, but I also recommend working in the home the first day or two your new sitter works for you, until you feel completely comfortable entrusting them with your children.

Elsa Englund Kayuha, M.D., mother of four children and founder of GotSitter.com

There are three insurance policies that you need to check and verify the coverage on before your child heads off to college.

Health Insurance

It is extremely important that you verify that your insurance will cover medical care away from your home area and in the state that your child will be living as a student. Many out-of-area insurance companies restrict the services they will pay for away from home. It is best to inquire and ask specifically what services are covered by your insurance company prior to your child leaving for school.

Ask for a separate insurance card in the child’s name or letter stating that the child has coverage. Insurance cards should be considered as valuable as a credit card and any loss needs to be reported immediately. Monitor and look over your health insurance statements verifying their accuracy.

Many colleges and universities include a health insurance charge as part of a tuition bill. Opt out or you might be paying for insurance twice.

Car Insurance

If your child is taking a car to campus, you will want to check your auto insurance policy. Since the car will be in a new location for at least eight months of the year, this might make a difference in your premiums.

It is important that the company be notified of the new address where the car will be kept. Also inquire about “Good Student” auto-policy discounts for your child. Read More

It’s summertime and moving season is in full swing, many families are preparing for life in a new home. The summer months often offer increased flexibility, better weather and the opportunity to make the move a family event. However, whether it’s moving to a different home around the block, or relocating to a new city, families face additional challenges when moving with children.

Making Moving Manageable

For both parents and children, moving to a new home can sometimes be a traumatic experience. A recent Rent.com survey found that 69 percent of families have moved to a new home at least once during their children’s lifetime and 18 percent of families have moved three or more times! Since changing homes can be tough on kids, 54 percent of parents worry about their children’s apprehensions surrounding the move, while additional concerns include finding the right time for the kids to move (31 percent), making sure moving day logistics run smoothly with the kids (27 percent) and getting kids motivated to help with moving (22 percent).

Children also fret about their new homes, but in different ways from their parents. More than half of American parents (54 percent) report that their children worry most about making new friends at school or in their neighborhood, 18 percent wonder if they’ll truly feel at home in the new place and 14 percent feel anxious about getting acclimated to the new neighborhood.

Happiness at Home

When choosing where to move, parents are tasked with the challenge of securing a place that’s affordable and located in a family-friendly neighborhood, while children may be expected to start at a new school and get used to unfamiliar surroundings. When choosing a new family home, an overwhelming 61 percent of parents cited a safe neighborhood as being the most important factor, while a quarter of parents (24 percent) believe that a living space large enough for the entire family to live in comfortably is equally important.

However, the younger members of the families have different priorities on their lists! One third of parents (32 percent) say that children want their own bedrooms, 28 percent say kids wish for a neighborhood with other kids their own age and 26 percent responded that what kids really pine for is a big backyard with enough room for a swing set, pool or tree house. Read More